Robert Pattison... Discuss Amongst Yourselves

Last night I went out celebrating with the other two witches, and M (who we are now calling "Gia"), Kim and Billy to dinner and then drinks at BeBar. The "water witch" is leaving for several weeks in Africa. Also, "Gia" waned us to meet a guy (for our approval, of course) at Wonderland. It was a very fun night, I'm still recovering a bit from it.

Anyway I came across this and thought I would share:


I love the headline "hide your daughters." Please, more like hide your sons. Especially if their name starts with "A" and ends with "dam"

Beware the Ides of March!

Sorry I haven't been keeping up as much as I normally do. It's been a fun yet busy week. I went out with the other "witches" and friends last Thursday to celebrate my 2-year anniversary at my current job. We had a lovely dinner at Floriana's and drinks at Cobalt.
Friday, I went out to celebrate the going-away of my friend "Homocop." he rented one of those party buses, which meant drinking on the bus, pub crawls through several bars, the mess of a night ending at Town. But I had a great time! Saturday, after recovering from hungover, I went out with Sean to Lebanese Taverna.
Sunday, after the whole Daylight Savings Time through us off, we went and had a picnic at Great Falls together, since it was a nice warm day. I wish I had remembered to bring my camera!
I took off work today for a "me-time" day, and went with Sean (as he usually has Wednesdays off) to the Zoo. Now is the perfect time to go - it was dead with zero tourists. Loved it!
I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow...

DILF Wednesdays: Christopher Meloni

Thanks to "Water Witch" for suggesting this week's DILF, Christopher Meloni. I liked him when he played a detective on one of those Law & Order /CSI shows (don't ask me which one, god knows there are so many). Anyway, I loved him in the HBO prison drama Oz.

He makes crime look so good...

Directions...

DILF Wednesdays: DILF Request Live!

Today's DILF is courtesy of Margo, who suggested I post John Hamm, who plays Don Draper on the show Mad Men.

Snowjob 2009 / Pink Dolphins!

I hope everyone enjoyed their snow day (or at lest if you had to go to wok I hope it wasn't too painful). Yesterday was the most snow DC has seen in some time (of course my old school ass remember the blizzard of 03, now that was a snowstorm!). I stayed home and did a whole hell of a lot of nothing, which was nice for a Monday. I had a feeling this wasn't just typical forecaster dissapointments so I hit up the grocery store last night because there was nada in my pantry. I figured with my luck I'd be caught foodless in some blizzard. And by "grocery" I mean I stopped at the liquor store first. Priorities!

Anyway, this will make your day: A pink dolphin! Your eyes deceive you not!

"Bluffin' with my Muffin"

Lady Gaga: "Poker Face"

See This Movie: Coraline

I was going to blog about Tom Brady getting married to some Brazilian woman named Gisele, whoever she is, impostor! Any-tomisminebackoffbitches-way...

Sean and I had a nice weekend. I apologize to my friends, I know lately I've been very boring and withdrawn, and reading about Sean and I cuddling is about as exciting as steamed broccoli.

I have gone out a few times during the week, like sHOtunes and the HOmo HOtel Happy HOur on Thursday, and I've met with friends for lunch too during the work week. Friday night I was so tired (recurring theme) I just wanted to take a pill and sleep. And Saturday Sean was so tired he just wanted to curl up and watch a movie. I know, I know, living la vida loca!

Today we went to my favorite Korean restaurant, Sorak Garden and stuffed myself silly. Afterwards we went to the movie theater at Tysons and saw Coraline. I had no idea what the movie was going to be about - I only had seen clips of the awesome animation. I highly recommend going to see it. Never mind Sean and I were the oldest people in the theater, it's a great movie full of stunning visuals.

DILF Weekend Edition: From Russia with DILF

новый президент Россия Дмитрий Медведев - Я думаю что он a DILF. (sorry, I don't know the word for DILF in Russian).



(Translation - I think that Russia's new president, Dimitry Medvedev, is a DILF, well by politician standards, right?)

DILF Wednesdays: Andrew Shue

Andrew Shue was a formative part of my development as a gay man. I still remember watching him on Melrose Place (stop laughing) as a young lad... I knew I liked the menz. Memories...

Oscars and Emu Eggs

By the weekend last week I was feeling sort of zombified, I (gasp!) didn’t do anything Friday night and slept in Saturday and Sunday which was so nice! I think Sean’s been a bit tired lately, too; we both have had a lot on our plates.

Sean reminded me that this weekend was the end of Restaurant Week in DC (doesn’t it feel like it’s always restaurant week, though?!) so to take advantage of it, I got us reservations Saturday night at Napoleon Bistrot, on Columbia Rd., for dinner. We both really liked it; it had great modern interpretations of French classics. Think Salade Nicoise and Crepe Suzettes. The only drawback is it’s a bit cramped, so it’s hard to have an intimate dinner (though not as loud and cramped as Bistrot “We Don’t Use Breadplates in France” Du Coin).

Sunday we spent half the day in bed, which is always nice. We went to an Oscar watching party at some of Sean’s friends. Before going there we stopped at the Whole Foods on Leesburg Pike and Sean pointed out to me emu eggs. Emus have big eggs, much like their cousin the ostrich. Except theirs are green! I couldn’t get over how alien they look! I wouldn’t begin to know how to use one, but they are fun to look at…

Untouched

Octomom

I know she’s been all over the news lately, and I wanted to avoid blogging about her, but I can’t help it. She fascinates me in the same way Dina Lohan does. It’s that whole you-can’t-help-but-look-at-a-car-accident thing. Only this is more like a derailed train carrying nitroglycerin, crashing in slow motion.

I can’t even imagine the pain of carrying 8 children. And I love how she’s like a white-trash version of Angelina Jolie. 8 more children and she’s a single mother on welfare. Lovesit! No, really, I think it's it's fabulous, don't think I wouldn't do the same thing.

PS- “Octomom” if you’re reading this: Let’s say I have this, um, friend, and he’s obsessed (mildly) with a silver-haired CNN anchor. We’ll call him Nanderson Nooper. So let’s say he was devising a scheme to “accidentally” have 8 of Nanderson’s children… what was the name of that fertility clinic you went you?

DILF Wednesdays: Jon Huntsman

I recently read about Utah's Republican governor speaking out in favor of gay civil unions (yes, you read that correctly... I know, right!). I know he's Republican and probably Mormon, but for this week his stance elevates him to DILF status because he's also easy on the eyes.

For Tuesday morning

Brighton Port Authority (that's the name of the band) Song: "Seattle"

Valentine's Dinner In Pics

The lobsters when they arrived

"Chef Tom" in the kitchen

Coquilles St. Jacques

By the fireplace (only thing missing is the polar bear rug)

Dinner!

The lobsters were great, Sean also made asparagus and Coquilles St. Jacques (a meal full of legendary aphrodisiacs I now realize) as well as an amazing molten chocolate cake for desert. For dipping sauces "Chef Tom" also made green and red mojo sauces, a savory guava caramelized sauce (the recipes of which I won't post here until Sean and Margo patent them for their bottled sauce empire which is going to make me a very rich husband!).

Valentine's Day 2009: Whatta Man

I got beautiful flowers from Sean yesterday, and more awaits tonight... right now I have two lobsters living in the crisper drawer in a box of ice and wet newspaper for tonight. I had a friend in Nova Scotia, Canada manage sending those down to me, so we'll see how they tastes.

Anyway, in dedication to Sean: What a man! What a man! What a mighty good man! (they were playing this at Town last night - perhaps n honor of Valentine's Day?) Skip to minute 2:05 where she's laying on a polar bear run by the fireplace... that's so me!

Oh He's Just Being Drunky

First off, I have to post this awww-inducing photo from the hella crazy fires that are blazing across Australia (and what did Australia ever do to make me mad, you may wonder? I'll tell you what - Hugh Jackman won't return my calls!)


Let's see... I've been meaning to blog about this one for awhile: the feud of Faye Dunaway vs. "actress" and "singer" Disney-creation Hilary Duff. Duff has been cast in an upcoming remake of Bonnie and Clyde and Dunaway -w ho stared in the original asked, validly, "Couldn't they at least cast a real actress?" Ouch! Now Duff is talking smack back and saying her fans don't even know who Dunaway is.

Hilary, sit down for a moment, we need to talk. Have you ever seen Faye in Mommie Dearest? She'll eff you up! Hils, if I were you I would run home and hide any wire hangers. Scrub the bathroom, and make sure you clean under any flowerpots! She's not mad at you, she's mad at the dirt...

Oh, and I have to blog about the whole Chris Brown going all Drunky McDrunkerson (like my ex) and hitting Rhianna. I'm still in disbelief! I love Rhianna!

Violence is never the answer (Drunky, are you reading this?). Oh and Happ Valentine's Day ya'll!

DILF Wednesdays: Liev Schreiber

It's not just me, he's totally DILFy, right?

Cake in a Mug?

I wonder if this actually works? I'll test it later this week and let y'all know...

How to make a cake in a mug

The Three Witches Take Manhattan

I had such a great 4-day weekend. Well, Thursday was stressful setting up for an event, but everything from dinner onwards, from the Waldorf Astoria to the bar was fun (see photos below).

Sean and I took the train back on Friday (as I've mentioned in previous posts, I will never take a Chinatown deathmobile unless I am piss poor and fleeing a nuclear bomb). I think I might take Amtrak up to Toronto and Montreal next time I go up there, train rides are so much more pleasant than driving. And it was nice having Margo with us on the ride up.

Sunday Sean took me to a beautiful little place by where he used to live (when he lived in Maryland), Brookside Gardens. It was a beautiful warm day, in contrast to the 17 degrees when we were in Manhattan, and the gardens had a nice greenhouse, as nice as the Botanical Gardens in DC. A little gem I never would've known about if it hadn't been for Sean! I reccomend going if you're in the Silver Spring area.

Photos courtesy of Margo - thanks!!

The Spam Awards! This week's winner...

Every now and then in my email inbox I get some real gems, even more bizarre or funny than the usual Viagra offers or Nigerian scams. This is one I got recently I thought was particularly amusing. I always thought Scarlett Johannson's acting was a little robotic...

WARNING ! STOLEN BIOLOGICAL MATERIAL ! Human Cloning Prohibition Act of 2007! regarding Scarlett Johansson (actress)

Hello dear Ladies and Gentlemen!

I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress) actually is a clone from original person Scarlett Galabekian last name, who has nothing with acting career. That clone was created illegally by using stolen biological material. Original person is very nice (not d**n sexy),most important - CHRISTIAN young lady! I'll tell you more,those clones (it's not only one) made in GERMANY - world leader manufacturer of humans clones, it is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein, Rhineland-Palatinate, Mr. Helmut Kohl home town. You can not even imaging the scale of the cloning activity. But warning! Helmut Kohl clone staff strictly controlling all their clones (at least they trying) spreading around the world, they are very accurate with that, some of them are still NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled clones, so be careful get close with clones you will be controlled as well. Original person is not happy with those movies, images, video, rumors and etc. spreading on media in that way it would be really nice if we all will try slow down that ''actress'' career development, original Scarlett will really appreciated that. Please remember that original Scarlett's family did not authorize any activity with stolen biological materials, no matter what form it was created in it was stolen and it is stolen. It all need to be delivered to authorized personals control in Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. Original Scarlett never was engaged, by the way!

Her close friend Serge G.

New York, New York

I'm very excited for this Thursday night for a gala dinner in Times Sq., New York that I'll be at with the other two witches, and Margo and Sean! Manhattan will never be the same! If you don't believe you'd better get superstitious!

Despite NYC being "cursed" - ie, a trip there always spelled relationship doom for me in the past, I think Sean and I have overcome so many obstacles nothing can stop us - not even Magnolia Bakery's cursed cupcakes!

Seriously, though, I'll be glad when the weekend is finally here!

Rocky Mountain High

"When it rains, it pours."

So I've been very busy lately with work, and then I got very sick and had to postpone a trip. I did eventually feel well enough to get to Denver on Friday afternoon for a conference there.

I had a good time there, except for the altitude sickness I got (which may have been made worse by already being dehydrated and getting over the flu). I've been to places in the Rockies before and don't think I ever got altitude sickness, but this time it really hit me.

Otherwise I had a great time in the Mile High City. I had forgotten there is a JR's in Denver. A colleague wanted to check it out, and I told them "I hate JR's back home, why on earth would I go to JR's here?!" I guess every city has to have a place for douchebags to go, I suppose.

Sean was nice enough to pick me up from the airport this afternoon. I'm off to the showers as airplanes always make me feel yucky!

Ugh

I've been s sick the last few days I haven't had a chance to really update or anything. In fact, I had to postpone my trip to Denver. Ugh, I woke up on Tuesday with the urge to vomit (such a lovely way to wake up) and haven't been feeling good since. I'll keep you updated.

DILF Wednesdays: Jon Stewart

Call me crazy, but I always thought Jon Stewart was kind of sexy...

Happy Year of the Ox DILF!

A week or so ago I featured Portland, Oregon’s (a lovely city, I might add) DILF-alicious mayor Sam Adams. Unfortunately for Sammy, it’s surfaced that he had an affair with a 17-year old male intern.

My problem isn’t that he had an affair with his intern. Only in conservative America are stupid things like this considered a problem. My problem is that it wasn’t ME!

Where was my handsome boss when I was a young lad – god knows I fantasized about being taken up against the Xerox machine… ok I’ll stop now but you get the point. (Mayor Adams, call me!)

Let’s see what else is going on? There’s a Superbowl or something, but my 2nd husband, Tom Brady isn’t involved this year so I don’t care.

Happy Chinese/Asian New Year (which falls on today), the Year of the Ox! Yesterday Sean and I went to Eden Center, where they had celebrations of Vietnamese New Year (Tet) with dragons, fireworks and stuff just to check things out. I’ve been to Chinatown’s celebrations before, but DC’s Chinatown leaves something to be desired.

Saturday night I was at a work-related event in Georgetown, and fortunately my fellow witches showed up to lend their moral support in a party full of “power gays” (“PGs”). Sometimes events like that can be fun, but more often are not are draining to me. I increasingly find the shiny veneer of DC’s PG scene that once must’ve attracted me has worn off. I see through so many of these power-hungry networking types, it would be comical if they all didn’t take themselves so seriously. Ugh.

Anyways later this week I’m off to the Creating Change conference in Denver (it was in Detroit last year). I had a lot of fun last year, so I’m actually looking forward to this one!

Inauguation 2009: Let's Get Inaugurated!

I had a wonderful time last night at both the HRC ball and the after-pAArty at Town. I'll let the photos speak for themselves:

Click here to see the paparazzi shots!

Let's Get Inaugurated!

Things are quite crazy in the fair city of Washington - so many people!

Tomorrow night Sean, myself, and many of my friends are going to the Out for Equality ball at the Mayflower, followed by an after party at Town. I think it will be lots of fun, and I'm sure I'll have lots of photos and stories to share later this week.

Tonight after 4 nights of going out I think I may settle for something quiet (or perhaps not, and continue my bender LOL) Sean's coming over soon and I'm making dinner (a tagine dish, that tagine was such a great gift!).

"The Boy Does Nothing..."

"Some Days I'm a Super Bitch..."

The Poison Pen Book Club

When I was watching Milk with some coworkers last month at the E Street cinema, I saw a preview for a movie called Revolutionary Road, starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. It looked really good, and now I really want to see it.

And doing some research, it sounds like a very intriguing novel. As we all know, books are often so much better than the movie. Has anyone else read it before?

So in the last month I've been reading Umberto Eco's The Island of the Day Before (not finished yet so I can't decide how I feel about it yet) and Alan Weisman's The World Without Us - a fascinating scientific look at what the planet would look like if humans disappeared. Needless to say the environment would breath easier. But it also delves into how our cities and monuments will decay. You'll never look a city the same way again.

Ice SkAAting

This looks like a lot of fun!

DILF Wednesdays: Patrick Swayze

Think of this as an "in honor of" DILF installment...

This picture makes me all sorts of sad. Poor Patrick Swayze has been very ill and apparently on death's doorstep these days. He used to be so handsome back in his Dirty Dancing days. And I don't care what anyone says, Dirty Dancing was one of the best movies of the 80's!!

Nobody puts Adam in a corner!

Conspire by the Fire

I had such a stressful week at work that Friday afternoon I joined my friend F for several (perhaps too many LOL) drinks. I haven't really gone out much lately like I used to, so it was nice to catch up with a friend.

Saturday I slept half the day, and joined Sean for the birthday party of a friend of his at Gua-Rapo in Arlington. It's a such a cute place - I went there years ago with F actually, but hadn't been back since. It kind of reminds me a bit of Halo with a Latin infusion. It's at the intersection of Courthouse and Wilson Blvd. roughly, and I'd love to go back if anyone else is up for it.

Afterwards we went back to Sean's place and he used his fireplace for the first time. He's lived there almost 2 years and he still had the same old log sitting there. So we cuddled up with a bottle of wine, a nice fire (the only thing missing was the bear skin rug lol). It was very nice!

Oh, and since when did Chili's get rid of their "Awesome Blossom?!" Sorry, I know I'm jumping topics here like crazy but this is a travesty! I guess I clearly haven't been in a Chili's in 3 years or I would've noticed this. I was being a suburban chain-y today and went into one and was sorely disappointed. I was eating healthy all week and wanted to ruin my diet! Anyway at least Outback still has their Blooming Onion.

Quote of the Day 01/09/09

From today's Washington Blade "Bitch Session:"

"Where the hell is the leadership in the gay community? If it is HRC or whoever is considered A-list at JR.’s, then we are lost."

I swear it wasn't me that wrote it (though I agree fully with whoever did!)

The Poison Pen on Ice!

...coming to a Sculpture Garden ice rink near you!

Saturday on a whim, Sean and I decided to do something different and go ice skating at the ice rink at the National Art Museum's Sculpture Garden on the mall. We've been ice skating before together, just no there. And I do think it's one of the prettiest places to skate.

Sunday I finally found Vietnamese-food heaven. Last week I blogged about my search for the best place, and I was directed to Eden Center in Falls Church VA. This place is awesome - it's a huge strip mall full of Southeast Asian grocery stores, markets, bubble tea shops and of course, restaurants.

Perfect way to spend the first week of the New Year!

I Want a "Blood Diamond"

I want to be rich and I want lots of money... I don’t care about clever I don’t care about funny... I want loads of clothes and f***loads of diamonds...I heard people die while they are trying to find them"

Did you get that, Anderson?

DILF Wednesdays: Sam Adams

NO! I am not talking about the Sam Adams the Revolutionary War historical figure, or the beer in the grocery store! I'm referring to Portland, Oregon's new openly gay mayor also known as Sam Adams. He's also a total DILF.



*I thought about posting something on Anderson Cooper's appearance last week hosting the New Year's ball drop [hee hee] in Times Square with Kathy Griffin. But I can't get past the fact that he's not out of the closet but goes on TV with Kathy f-king Griffin, queen of all fag-haggery. The only thing that could make him any more obvious would be to ride down the beach of Fire Island on a pink unicorn, with Ricky Martin and Cher running behind with a big rainbow banner that says "GAAAYYYY!"

The Gravy Ladle Story

I came across this at work the other say and thought it was cute and worth sharing... (and it so sounds like something my mom would do):

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how handsome John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of Johns' sexual orientation and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Mark and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Mark came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Mark, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Mark. But the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"

ZOMG! ROFL!

HAHAHAHA... oh I can't stop laughing HAHAHAHA

Poor Britney Spears. Poor girl is riding her wave of a comeback and then she gets hacked on her Twitter page:

A New Favorite Site

You know how 90% of all photos on peoples' MySpace profiles all kinda look, well, like typical MySpace pictures? You know, the classic "let me take a pic of myself with a camera phone in the bathroom" pic... or the "I'm drunk at the club" pic (ok, ok, I'm guilty of that last one).

Anyway, there's a library (with high-larious commentary) called MySpace Douche Bags. Loves it!

Pho-Pas

Good Vietnamese food is hard to find in this city sometimes! So I wanted to spread the word on a place Sean and I found...

So New Years Day after having a lot to drink at Halo the night before, I needed some restorative food and was craving Pho. Don't ask me why - hangovers give me the strangest cravings.

So we went to Green Papaya in Bethesda, MD. Thus far it's the best Vietnamese place in the metro area I've found, and they have excellent Pho. I'm curious though - does anyone else have a good Vietnamese place they would recommend?

Everyday's a Holiday With You

I hope everyone had a safe and happy New Year! I spent my New Years Eve at Halo with Sean. The funny thing is I guess with all the Christmas stress, and with the InaugurAAtion around the corner, New Years just kind of got swept under the rug mentally this year. I wanted something a bit low-key and didn't really make any plans. But it was fun to ring in a 3rd new year with Sean at midnight.

Dedicated to Sean: Esthero "Holiday," because everyday is a holiday with you!

"Don't Mess with a Beast, Mr. Hurricane"

This song, by Montreal-based electropop group Beast made me think of the "Water Witch" still over in the UK.



Actually the lyrics should be switched around to "don't mess with a hurricane" LOL.

hAAppy New Year!

It’s hard to believe another year has passed by. 2009 is upon me already!

Which makes me pause to reflect and think forward. I mean, thus far the past few years have been ones of stability and relative happiness. But I’d be lying if sometimes I didn’t ask myself “What’s next?”

I am happy living where I live, I’m happy with Sean and being surrounded by good friends who I’ve been lucky enough to have through many years. And yet I also realize nothing can last forever.

Some of the big questions are too intimidating to think about. Like I have no idea what direction I want to take career wise as a next step. I know eventually the desire to try living somewhere else will be too strong to resist.

Whatever happens – I hope 2009 is a year of positive changes and good things for me and all of my friends. And my enemies can go hit by a bus. “Champagne for real friends – real pain for sham friends!”

Today I’m chilling wine, shredding various Swiss cheeses and chopping bread and fruit for a fondue dinner I’m preparing for Sean. I swear that electric fondue pot was the best thing that Drunky McDrunkerson ever gave me LOL.

Happy New Years!!

Nostalgia

"A little voice inside my head says 'Don't look back, you can never look back...'"
-Don Henley, Boys of Summer

Today my office building was closed due to some mechanical issues - another day off work!

So I've been on this cracked out spring-cleaning like weeding through old, dusty boxes. I have so many things from over the years: old love letters, photos, college papers, old stuff from when I worked at Barf Day Network, and things older still... things I know I should let go of and recycle or chuck in the trash... but I just can't bring myself to do it. There's something very bittersweet about these dusty, yellowed ghosts from the past...

Xmas with the Family

Well I haven't updates since Christmas Eve. So, obviously I'm here writing this which means I've survived my second holiday bringing Sean home - this time for a full 27 hours. Sean and I came over on Christmas Eve for the little party my mom puts together every year, along with my brother's girlfriend, who also stayed or the next day (and helped make things less awkward by having another non-family member around the house. Actually it all went amazingly well - I might have to bring Sean home for more holidays. Everyone was so well behaved and cheerful! (Poor Sean doesn't know the half of it LOL)
Sean made amazing food fro Christmas day dinner, we all had fun opening our presents together the next morning, playing with my parent's new puppy. It was a Festivus to remember!

Your Xmas Package...

Here's an early xmas present, courtesy of The Poison Pen and my fourth (fifth?) husband, Robert Pattinson. May all your stockings be stuffed with care!

Once Bitten...

Sunday evening, after nursing a bit of a hangover from all of the Festivus cheer the previous night, we went to Lauriol Plaza for brunch (by brunch I mean 3:30 pm) and then hit a movie since it was like 20 degrees outside and I really didn't feel like doing anything. There are plenty of good movies out - but Sean indulged my sweet tooth for pure fluff and we saw the new movie Twilight starring Robert Pattinson as the brooding bad-boy vampire.
Le swoon... I know some of my friends don't get what it is about him that makes me all moist in my manties (sorry for that image). But at least my friend Kim is with me on this one! R-Pats is like catnip for the eyes, I could just look at him all day. I'd even give up garlic for a vampire like him.

Festivus 2008: It's a Festivus Miracle!

I had a great weekend celebrating the HOlidays this weekend. First with the other two witches on Friday. Look what P got me - is this too damn perfect for this blog or what?!


Saturday was the event of the season: Margo's third (?) annual Festivus party!! You can check out all the photos from that, just click here!

DILF Wednesdays Thursdays

I'm a bad blogger! I've been so stressed and frazzled by the Festivus season I haven't kept up with The Poison Pen. And that includes missing DILF posting two weeks in a row. So here's a quickie of my old stand-by, Anderson Cooper, thinking he can win my heart with a song

"Total eclipse of the heart... turn around bright eyes, turn around..."

December Updates

Gay Penguins:
Another gay penguin pair at it again - only this time in a zoo in China. The duo tried to steal eggs from other penguins, and the zookeepers segregated them from the rest of the penguins. After a public outcry, the penguins are back with the rest of the flock, and are being given an egg to take care of. Gay penguin liberation!!

InaugurAAtion pAArty Time!:

In order to better ca$h in on the Inauguration (make than InaugurAAtion) DC is allowing clubs to be open 24 hours and serve booze until 5am!!
That sound you just heard was Drunky McDrunkerson imploding with joy.

A Westboro Baptist Church Christmas:

Our rabid homo-haters at Westboro Baptist Church (home of the "God Hates Fags" signs) wishes us all a warm holiday. I feel the love!

These are a Few of My Favorite Things

So I am trying to get serious about the rest of my HOliday shopping. I keeping getting asked what I want for Festivus, and my honest answer is just to be with my friends.

Now before you go thinking that the lump of black ice in my chest cavity (aka my "heart") has suddenly melted, what I mean by that is honestly I have everything I need, and being with my real friends is gift enough!

But if you insist on buying The Poison Pen something, here is my Festivus Wish List:

a) World Peace
b) A giant gummy bear on a stick
c) A polar bear rug and/or fur coat
d) Drunky to quit drinking (yes, I realize "world peace" is more likely)
e) Dinner with Anderson Cooper
f) Vodka, wine
g) Contribute to my out-of-control iTunes library
h) A gay Canadian billionaire who doesn't believe in pre-nups.
i) Britney to go back to her "crazy days"
j) precious stones
k) A trip somewhere tropical again
and...
To be surrounded by my friends and family!!! I'm being serious on this one!

Homo for the Holidays, Part II

So as my friends know, I survived the "meet the parents" Thanksgiving, and now... Sean has been invited back for the HOlidays both Christmas Eve and Christmas.

yes, that means this will be my first time bringing a boyfriend home to potentially sleep in the guest bedroom with. I can't help it, but it makes me feel a tad uncomfortable. I mean, I know we're adults and all - and I commend my parents acceptance. But going home with a boyfriend makes me feel like a teenager again for some reason. And spending the night with Sean... I can't explain it. Even though I didn't grow up in the house they currently live in, the idea still feels awkward .

The real kicker is that Chef Sean is cooking dinner for my family!

PS - I realize today I missed my usual "DILF Wednesday" installment. The Poison Pen currently has a bad cough and stayed home at Sean's place in McLean today and let him take care of me. So I promise when I'm feeling better I'll make it up to you. Any DILF special requests?

PSS - I rarely do product promos, by I gotta tell you: Tylenol Nighttime Cough and Sore Throat Syrup is way better than even Nyquil - and they aren't fucking around with that stuff either! I took some and by the time Sean and I got to the grocery store to pick something up, I almost fell out of the car into the parking lot. It's like taking bong hits! Cough Syrup Martinis!!

Who Put the Hidden Cam in My Bathroom??

So since some biotches at Youtube took down the bootlegged Britney video in yesterday's post, I was forced to find a new one and came across this fuckery:
I'm not sure whether to laugh or what... but now you know what my morning routine looks like when I'm getting ready for work...

Baby It's Cold Outside!

I'm staying indoors tonight trying to shake a cough I have (I'm sure going out with my friends Friday didn't help, but hey it had been a long week!). So yeah, Friday I went out with friends to Jack's, Cobalt and Town. You know, as painful as it is for me to say nice things, I have to give Cobalt some golf-claps for their little remodel. The restaurant menu looks chintzy and uninspired, but the decor for the upstairs bars look quite nice.

Let's see... Saturday night I went to a party of one of Sean's friends in Vienna, and we took the train into the city. Ok, I'm all for pubic [typo - but it stays!] transportation; but when every fucking line has track maintenance delays, what's supposed to convince people to not just drive? Some days I really hate Metro, and when I have to have collectively 30+ minutes for trains, it really makes me just want to drive. The whole idea was so that we both could have fun and not have to drive all Drunky McDrunkerson. (Note to friends - and frienemies - have a designated driver this HOliday season! The Poison Pen means it!!)

I've done some HOliday shopping, but I feel like I still have heaps left to do before Festivus! Which reminds me, if you're not on my HOliday card list (or, if you've changed address in the last year) email me so you can be on my Festivus HOliday card list.

"There's only 2 types of people in the world - the ones that entertain, and the ones that serve..." -Britney Spears, Circus

I...I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight...

must've been some kind of Giant Gummy Bear on a Stick.

I swear some days it's like marketers can read my mind!

And You Thought Congress Was Crazy

For something different, read this. I've been chatting with friends in Canada today about a government meltdown that is going on there right now. Parliamentary governments are bit more complex that out Congress, so my friends abroad have always been patent with me explaining how things like a "minority government" work. Long story short, Canada's Prime Minister, Steven Harper, fearing he would be kicked out of office by a coalition in Paraliament, asked the Governor General (The Queen's representative in Canada - it's part of the British Commonwealth, remember) to suspend Parliament. This would be the equivalent of Bush suspending Congress - can you imagine the shitstorm we'd have here if that happened?!

Crazy government roller-coasters or not, I'd rather be a subject of the Queen and have full rights as a gay human being, than a 2nd-class citizen.

Hey Mr DJ...

So Sean and I have a bit of a conundrum: We don't have a "song." You know, how every couple has a "song." Whether it was playing on the car radio the first time you made out, or something they sang to one night at Karaoke, most couples seem to have one. I know pretty much every guy I've dated had a song with me (well, I can't recall one for Drunky - anyone know any songs about dating an angry drunk?).
SO - I need to find a song, I'm thinking. Any good candidates? It can't be Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath My Wings," Elton John's "Tiny Dancer," or Snow Patrol's "Run." - Don't laugh, I can't help the fact my exes all had bad taste in music (minus Snow Patrol - I had to give M****** credit for that one).

DILF Wednesdays: Ben Browder

I know he's kind of a D-list actor (Google him, you've probably seen him on TV) but he kinda reminds me of Sean when he's clean-shaven. (Which, by the way, he did before meeting my parents. It's been over a year since I've seen his face, it's taking some getting used to!)

Be Good for Goodness Sake

So December is here (already!) and it’s the start of the HOliday season. You know, I have to bitch about something. There’s been all this hoopla over bus signs that the American Humanist Association has this holiday season. As may be expected, the Jeebus freaks have their panties in a wad over it.



You know, I’m really sick the last few years of the fundamentalist X-ian “debate” that they bring up every December about “Merry Christmas” vs. “Happy Holidays” and putting Jeebus back as the “reason for the season.”

1) Jeebus is NOT the reason for the season. Actually, the winter solstice is. Crack open a history book.
2) Again, X-ians (and people “of faith” in general) seem to think they have this monopoly on “morality” or ethics. They obviously don’t. Like the sign says, just be good for goodness sake, not because your invisible friend is watching you.
3) If they want to go back to their interpretation of the “real” meaning of X-mas, let’s do that with all the holidays! I think The Onion parodies this best (see movie clip below). Halloween? Let’s go back to the original spirit of the season, LOL!


In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?

Anderson and Michael Phelps Getting Wet

In what sounds like the beginning of a gay porn if I were a director, Anderson Cooper and Michael Phelps got all shirtless and in a pool together. My only compaint is my husband, Anderson, isn't wearing Speedos. No fair!!

no more pie... ok one more piece

So I am typing these words eating some leftover pecan pie (after stuffing my face with leftover turkey, stuffing and my homemade cranberry sauce) and too tired for words. I was thinking about going out tonight but I dunno. I've been lazy on a whole new level today. My body feels like I spent a weekend cracked out partying. I guess bringing the bf home to meet the folks, and stuffing your face several times will do that to you.

As my friends are aware, I have a "3 hour" rule with my family. So bringing Sean home (at my mother's insistence) at noon yesterday meant we spent around 10 hours with my family. I remember the drive over there with Sean thinking to myself "What, oh what the fuck have I gotten myself into? It's not too late to turn around!"

But... you know.... it wasn't so painful. I dare say it went very well. I think my family likes Sean, I think he sufficiently charmed my mother. He's been invited back for Xmas!

Happy ThAAnksgiving!

Happy ThAAnksgiving from The Poison Pen!

"If You Liked it Then You Shoulda Put a Ring On It"

One thing I didn't mention when I was blogging about my weekend adventures, was that Sunday evening while Sean and I were driving in the car, we started talking about future stuff and...

He used the "M" word. You know which one I'm talking about.

The funny thing is it didn't register with me until hours later. My nighttime cup of tea almost went up my nose when it suddenly hit me what word he'd used. Clearly it's on his mind. Now that I think about it, he did bring the topic up an awful lot during the whole California Propo 8 mess, but I figured it was just political talk.

I'm a 10.5 men's ring size, just in case anyone needs to know.

DILF Wednesdays: Adam Levine

I've always thought the Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine was hot. Not only do his music videos make me swoon, but he has a sexy first name, don't you think?!

Chinese Democracy

Ok, Hell has officially frozen over. Seriously, the Bush years felt like some weird trip, but either I've slipped into some parallel universe, or someone's been lacing my Diet Cokes with some kick-ass LSD.

Not only did Obama become the first black president this year, but Gun's and Roses have released Chinese Democracy - the album that has been on hold for 17 years. I figured when Chinese Democracy actually ever came out we could pretty much figure the Rapture was going to happen. This is proof God doesn't exist. Or maybe the fact that the album actually came out does say there is a higher force out there... you be the judge!