Friday, October 29, 2004

Shocking Exculisve: Cannibal Koi / "Is he the gay?"

Last week I reported that my fish had given birth to a school of fry (baby fish). Unfortunately I was not prepared for the grim and not-so-pretty side of nature. I watched in horror as (for some reason) one of my koi systematically ate fry after fry. When this started happeneing, I decided to fish them out and remove them to a separate fish bowl, since it was obviously unsafe in the aquarium with these deranged parents mistaking them for fishflakes.
On my way out of my room, however, to find something to scoop them out with, I got distracted by a telephone call and then some hot guy on a TV show... an hour later when I remembered about my young fish friends it was too late. I still love my original adult koi. I just wish they hadn't eaten their own offspring. Oh well, what would I have done with 20 koi anyway? Abandon them in the Dupont Circle fountain?
You're Nova Scotia. People have spread rumours
about you and you have suffered from
stereotyping. Few people take the time out to
get to know the real you. You hate labels. You
are patriotic and loyal.

What Canadian Province Are You?
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Well its been another work week finally over for Adam! Man, I love being lazy sometimes. By the way, you will notice I've lifted a famous line from one of Margaret Cho's stand-up comedy routines. I was in a Korean grocery store earlier today and this woman was talking to me. some of the things she said (or rather, the way she said them) reminded me so much of how Cho depicts her own Korean mother. "Is he THE GAAAY???"
Speaking of less-than-perfect english, check out It full of Asian poorly translated hilarity. See below...
Actually in the case of this shirt (which I want to own SOOO bad) I think it's rather the case of people using English because it just seems Western and therefore "cool," regardless of what the words actually mean. Having lived in South Korea (Seoul) for a brief period of time, I remember seeign LOTS of shirts like the one above. It was all I could do to cover my snickers riding on the subway, reading some of the absolutely rediculous shit people would wear. Note to those people: get a pocket translatore before you buy ANYTHING with Engrish, er, English on it.

You are Dena! Holy shit!

Are you like Dena?
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Well, I will write more later. I'm going to meet some friends out for coffee... until next time parting is such sweet sorrow.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

I'm Outsourcing My Friends to India...

Yes, it's true. I'm going to outsource my friends and enemies to India. Maybe even potential boyfriends too. I mean really! I can get my drama in India at half what I pay here in the American market! It makes good business sense! Ok. So what is new?
Well, I've been watching more TV than usual...maybe its the colder nights with not much to do lately. (Oh, and having drama with certain friends too). I really have to say, as much as I hate television...I kinda like the shows "Six Feet Under" and "Oz." Somehow my blog posts always come to sexual fantasies...and quizes. So don't say you didn't see this one coming. Check it out while I go see what cute Mr. UPS man has for me at the door...
Yeah, you and everyone else. He's probably really good in bed, too. The catch is, he'll probably kill you after. Or during.
Chris Keller

Who's your OZ bitch?
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Hmmmmm. So what else? Well, this weekend I went to the Shenandoah Valley. Took a beautiful drive along Skyline Drive. All the leaves have changed to yellows and oranges and reds, so now is the best time to go. Visited some "quant" little country stores. Went to an apple orchard and picked my own apples. Fed some goats. Yes, it was a very rural day for yours truly, but just what I needed. Oh, and hit up a winery too. Can't remember the name, but there are dozens of little vineyards up in that area. I used to be kind of turned-off to Virginia wines because the ones I had up to this point all tasted like vinegar and piss. But I have to say I was pretty impressed with what I had this weekend.
Let's see... oh this is a belated entry, but my best friend Mira gave birth to Maxwell Dean Boyd in August, so now he is almost two months old!!! I feel like an uncle! Mira, if your reading this (what? people actually read this junk???) send me some pictures! I wish I could fly out to Texas and come visit, but alas, work, money and all the other eveils of the Industrial world we live in keep me in DC for now.
My pet fish (Koi) had babies recently....20 of them. What the hell and I going to do with 20 koi?? Do you realize how big they get! So consider this a post to advertise free baby koi to anyone who is interested! Again, I have 20 of them.
Only 5 more days until Halloween!!!

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Existentialist Malaise

What's new with me? Not much. Its a gray rainy overcast October of the reasons October is one of my favorite months of the year. Halloween is simply so much more fun than Christmas or Easter.
I think I am experiencing "existentialist malaise," in the sense that the routine of the everyday has been getting me down a bit. Not that really work that hard or anything, I'm only teaching English classes. But still, everyday just sort of seems the same. And even the weekend somehow seem the same. Maybe I'm just bitching too much, but I really have the wonderlust biting at me to go somewhere new and exciting. So to that end I am trying (maybe) to plan a roadtrip...
But first,
You are Tim the Enchanter! Sure you can blow up small objects, but no-one really respects you. But you'll have the last laugh...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
You are Tim the Enchanter! Sure you can blow up
small objects, but no-one really respects you.
But you'll have the last

Which Monty Python & the Holy Grail Character are you REALLY?
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You didn't REALLY think I'd create a post without a Quizilla quiz, did you? So now (as that old guy on the radio says) for the rest of the story.
The Washington Post has an ineresting travel and cooking section. (The cooking section, I believe, is in the Wednesday addition) Anyway, they had an article about the wineries of Western Virginia and the Shenandoah Valley. The Valley is absolutely beautiful this time of year, and wineries are always fun (ah, memories of Bordeaux, France...getting sloshed hopping from vinyard to vinyard, becomming Bacchus incarnate). So maybe that would be a fun escape. And I also would like to see a pumpkin patch at some point this Fall too.

Pumpkin Patch

I'm sure there will be more time to talk about the delicious time of year that is Halloween in the next week or two to come. I've already pieced together things for my costume (see posts below) and now it's time to crank up the Type-O-Negative (or other darkly inspiring music of your choice) and enjoy the darker colder nights. Who knows, maybe this year I will get tricks AND treats (pun intended).

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Punks, Queers, and Skaterboys, oh my!

You are Bettie Page!
You're Bettie Page!

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
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What is it with me and the whole good boy-next-door vs. total kinky gayboi perv dichotomy that I suffer from? It feels like I'm Clark Kent somedays... where's a phonebooth to change in when I need one?
Well, we're in October, one of my favorite months of the year (I think I dicussed my love of Autumn earlier). And honestly I think this time of year is the best time of year to be in Washington. The whole city just somehow seems more clear and alive during the Fall, I can't explain it. Also one has to consider the fact that we are in a strange area, climate-wise. The summers are too hot and humid, the winters are ass-freezing cold. And there really is no spring seems to jump from winter straight to summer. So Autumn here is perfect.

Sunday I went to Great Falls National Park
for the first time... if you haven't been I can't urge you enough to go. I'll even drive your ass there if you don't have a car! Anyway it's one of DC/Northern Virginia's best kept secrets, and it's about 15 miles west of Georgetown (follow GW pkwy to Georgetown Pike/rt.193). It's really beautiful. And I'm thinking it would be a sweet place to bring a date. And if they piss you off you can push them over the waterfall. "Woops, Mr. Ranger...I told him not to stand that close to the edge!"
The Falls

Let's see, what else is new. Ok, does anyone else have a thing for punk rock boys? I mean really, I'll take a scruffy punk rock boy over some "clean cut" Abercrombie boy any day of the week. Hmmmm. For instance, I met this really cute punk boy last night with a mohawk and a cute face and blue eyes to kill for. Unfortunately he says he is straight (for now anyway...) but he was shaking his ass to me and taunting me and my other friend who was drooling over him, saying things such as "this ass is virgin, it's tight, you know you want it!" Why tempt me with such thoughts! But it got me involved in an interesting discussion with some other gay men about our tastes. When it comes to deliciously dirty punks and rockabillies, it seems you either love em or you hate em. Which means less compatition for me, because even the geekiest guy looks hot on a skateboard.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Tuesday's Gone With The Wind...and pet names/proof of literacy

Ok, so its Tuesday afternoon, and I shouldnt be complaining but being in a certain routine where you go to work at the same time every day, get up at the same time every day, etc really gets kind of depressing after awhile. I mean, I'm not bitching too much because it all means getting paid...yet I can't help but to long for those blissful (yet broke) days of unemployment. I no longer have to look cute to get daddies to buy me a drink...I can buy my own! What a concept.

rosy perfection
You are Rosy Perfection Salad!! Though your name
may be innocent and cheerful, your jello-sweet
exterior hides a foul, sinister core.

What Weight Watchers recipe card from 1974 are you?
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I thought this quiz was funny as hell. Interestingly, though, I decided to change my answers a bit (read: be more honest with myself) and my results were a bit different the second time around:

You are Frankfurter Spectacular!! Wrapping hot
dogs around a pineapple doesn't make it
Spectacular any more than sticking feathers up
your butt will make you a chicken. Quit trying
to be something you're not and just RELAX

What Weight Watchers recipe card from 1974 are you?
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God, after seeing these so-called "recipes" I think I'm first going to vomit, then be glad that I wasn't on Weight Watchers back in 1974!! Not that I was even alive in 1974, but anyway...
Today I want to talk about terrible pet-names you may have with your lovers/boyfriends/girlfriends/blowup dolls whatever. For example, in my last relationship I was christened Adam "the chicken." Needless to say, there was kind of an age difference between us, so when his older queen friends saw me, I must have looked like a chicken to them. After awhile, rather than being an insult, it became sort of an inside joke, and I didn't really mind it so much. Until after we broke up and when he's coming down the street he still addressed me (at the top of his lungs, mind you) "CHIIIICKEN! There's my chicken!"
Ugh. Anyway, can anyone else relate? And no, I'm not giving anyone who email me the recipe for "Rosy Perfection Salad!"

And now, a list of the books that I've read since January 1st of 2004. I average about 30 books in a good year... this year I've been a but behind on my reading due to school/work/stress. I one read a frightening statistic that the average American only reads two books a year (thank-you, Oprah, you cunt). At least it's two and not zero (George W. Bush). Picture books do not count. Anyway maybe it seems like I read a lot, but I am extremely anti-television. There is very little between "Sex in the City" and the so-called "Real World" that I actually give a shit about in our comericialized pop culture. It bores me, frankly, and I find more comfort in a well-written book than in the nightly cathode-ray shitfest called prime time. That having been said, not all of the books below are winners, but I believe in finishing a novel unless it's REALLY bad. I'm putting an "*" next to the ones I reccomend. So, here goes...

*"Ulysses" by James Joyce ( bit confusing, but bear with it...all 800 pages)

*"Motion of Light in Water" by Samuel R. Delany (an autobiography of a very fascinating sci-fi writer. One of the first Black and gay sci-fi writeres...and one of the best if you ask me)

"Ashes of Stars" by Samuel R. Delany and
"Aye, and Gomorrah...and Other Stories" and
*"Dhalgren" by Samuel R. Delany (Yes, I was on a bit of a Delany kick, but he's an amazing writer. If you enjoy GOOD speculative fiction, read his apacalypic meta-fictional "Dhalgren." One of my favorite all time novels. This was a re-read for me.)

*"A Very Easy Death" by Simone DeBeauvoir (light existentialist reading...not)

*"Giovanni's Room" by James Bladwin

"On Wiriting" by Stephen King

*"Memoirs of a Survivor" by Dorris Lessing (a very odd apocalyptic novel. Am I noticing a pattern here...apocolyptic?)

"Toward the End of Time" by John Updike

*"Again, Dangerous Visions" by Harlan Elison (ed) (one of the best speculative fiction anthologies...take my advice and read ALL of the "Dangerous Visions"'ll never read shitty sci-fi again!)

"Altar if the Dead" by Henry James (James is supposed to be of America's best writers...I didn't see it myself)

*"The Magus" by John Fowles (If you like the occult...and you like Greece or travelougues, read this stunning novel. Reccomended to me by Madame Dena of Dupont, and she was right, this one was amazing)

*"Das Kapital" by Karl Marx (Depending on your political leanings you will either embrace it or hate it. But read it.)

"The Bridge of San Luis Rey" by Thornton Wilder. (Not personally impressed, but he writes well)

"Second Child" by John Saul (given to me by a friend. Not my favorite, lets just put it that way)

Monday, October 04, 2004

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round-n-round

Jem. You are a dichotomy of good girl meets
rockstar superhero; as a result, sometimes you
do come off as a ditzy sorostitute.

Which Jem and the Holograms member are you?
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Saturday, October 02, 2004

"I still love you, only slightly less than I used to"

Ooooh. You're SO BAD. and you son't want to take
shit from anyone. Unfortunately for you,
you're going to have to, because your image
isn't so much tough as it is hilarious.

What band from the 80s are you?
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It's been an interesting week. Actually the first few days of the workweek felt so surreal somehow. Like I was living in a movie watching myself, and not actually real. Ever have days like that? Must have been all the rain, being late for work, drama, etc that just me feel really strange. But by midweek I snapped out of it.

The title of today's post was lifted from the song "Stop Me if You Think That You've Heard This One Before" by the Smiths off their album "Strangeways, Here We Come!" Actually that's probably my favorite Smith's album, and song for that matter. Mainly because it describes those weird feelings you have. For example, an old flame of mine is always talking about how much he loves me and maybe one day we can get back together. I mean, I still love him. In the way that I love all my friends, a sort of platonic love. But not like I used to. Indeed, I feel like I love him, only slightly less than I used to. But does one tell someone that without being a total ass. I swear, theres more drama after a relationship than there is during it. Why?

And finally for today, some thoughts on chest hair. Good or bad? You feel free to leave your comments! This, I feel, has divided the gay community more than the imfamous debates of Cher-Vs-Madonna (as in, whos the bigger gay icon). As for me, I take it on a case by case basis. Some gay men swear that chest hair is a wonderful sign of masculinity and demand their boyfriends grow a nice little patch of it. Others run at the sight, demanding their lovers to be either naturally baby smooth, or at least use Nair or visit the waxing salon. Personally, I tend to like my guys smooth. Or if he does have chest hair he should keep it under control and from looking like the Black Forest. But for some hot, say, Italian or Greek man maybe I could make an exception for a little Austin Powers-esque hirsuteness.