Wednesday, December 31, 2008

hAAppy New Year!

It’s hard to believe another year has passed by. 2009 is upon me already!

Which makes me pause to reflect and think forward. I mean, thus far the past few years have been ones of stability and relative happiness. But I’d be lying if sometimes I didn’t ask myself “What’s next?”

I am happy living where I live, I’m happy with Sean and being surrounded by good friends who I’ve been lucky enough to have through many years. And yet I also realize nothing can last forever.

Some of the big questions are too intimidating to think about. Like I have no idea what direction I want to take career wise as a next step. I know eventually the desire to try living somewhere else will be too strong to resist.

Whatever happens – I hope 2009 is a year of positive changes and good things for me and all of my friends. And my enemies can go hit by a bus. “Champagne for real friends – real pain for sham friends!”

Today I’m chilling wine, shredding various Swiss cheeses and chopping bread and fruit for a fondue dinner I’m preparing for Sean. I swear that electric fondue pot was the best thing that Drunky McDrunkerson ever gave me LOL.

Happy New Years!!

Monday, December 29, 2008


"A little voice inside my head says 'Don't look back, you can never look back...'"
-Don Henley, Boys of Summer

Today my office building was closed due to some mechanical issues - another day off work!

So I've been on this cracked out spring-cleaning like weeding through old, dusty boxes. I have so many things from over the years: old love letters, photos, college papers, old stuff from when I worked at Barf Day Network, and things older still... things I know I should let go of and recycle or chuck in the trash... but I just can't bring myself to do it. There's something very bittersweet about these dusty, yellowed ghosts from the past...

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Xmas with the Family

Well I haven't updates since Christmas Eve. So, obviously I'm here writing this which means I've survived my second holiday bringing Sean home - this time for a full 27 hours. Sean and I came over on Christmas Eve for the little party my mom puts together every year, along with my brother's girlfriend, who also stayed or the next day (and helped make things less awkward by having another non-family member around the house. Actually it all went amazingly well - I might have to bring Sean home for more holidays. Everyone was so well behaved and cheerful! (Poor Sean doesn't know the half of it LOL)
Sean made amazing food fro Christmas day dinner, we all had fun opening our presents together the next morning, playing with my parent's new puppy. It was a Festivus to remember!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Your Xmas Package...

Here's an early xmas present, courtesy of The Poison Pen and my fourth (fifth?) husband, Robert Pattinson. May all your stockings be stuffed with care!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Once Bitten...

Sunday evening, after nursing a bit of a hangover from all of the Festivus cheer the previous night, we went to Lauriol Plaza for brunch (by brunch I mean 3:30 pm) and then hit a movie since it was like 20 degrees outside and I really didn't feel like doing anything. There are plenty of good movies out - but Sean indulged my sweet tooth for pure fluff and we saw the new movie Twilight starring Robert Pattinson as the brooding bad-boy vampire.
Le swoon... I know some of my friends don't get what it is about him that makes me all moist in my manties (sorry for that image). But at least my friend Kim is with me on this one! R-Pats is like catnip for the eyes, I could just look at him all day. I'd even give up garlic for a vampire like him.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Festivus 2008: It's a Festivus Miracle!

I had a great weekend celebrating the HOlidays this weekend. First with the other two witches on Friday. Look what P got me - is this too damn perfect for this blog or what?!

Saturday was the event of the season: Margo's third (?) annual Festivus party!! You can check out all the photos from that, just click here!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

DILF Wednesdays Thursdays

I'm a bad blogger! I've been so stressed and frazzled by the Festivus season I haven't kept up with The Poison Pen. And that includes missing DILF posting two weeks in a row. So here's a quickie of my old stand-by, Anderson Cooper, thinking he can win my heart with a song

"Total eclipse of the heart... turn around bright eyes, turn around..."

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

December Updates

Gay Penguins:
Another gay penguin pair at it again - only this time in a zoo in China. The duo tried to steal eggs from other penguins, and the zookeepers segregated them from the rest of the penguins. After a public outcry, the penguins are back with the rest of the flock, and are being given an egg to take care of. Gay penguin liberation!!

InaugurAAtion pAArty Time!:

In order to better ca$h in on the Inauguration (make than InaugurAAtion) DC is allowing clubs to be open 24 hours and serve booze until 5am!!
That sound you just heard was Drunky McDrunkerson imploding with joy.

A Westboro Baptist Church Christmas:

Our rabid homo-haters at Westboro Baptist Church (home of the "God Hates Fags" signs) wishes us all a warm holiday. I feel the love!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

These are a Few of My Favorite Things

So I am trying to get serious about the rest of my HOliday shopping. I keeping getting asked what I want for Festivus, and my honest answer is just to be with my friends.

Now before you go thinking that the lump of black ice in my chest cavity (aka my "heart") has suddenly melted, what I mean by that is honestly I have everything I need, and being with my real friends is gift enough!

But if you insist on buying The Poison Pen something, here is my Festivus Wish List:

a) World Peace
b) A giant gummy bear on a stick
c) A polar bear rug and/or fur coat
d) Drunky to quit drinking (yes, I realize "world peace" is more likely)
e) Dinner with Anderson Cooper
f) Vodka, wine
g) Contribute to my out-of-control iTunes library
h) A gay Canadian billionaire who doesn't believe in pre-nups.
i) Britney to go back to her "crazy days"
j) precious stones
k) A trip somewhere tropical again
To be surrounded by my friends and family!!! I'm being serious on this one!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Homo for the Holidays, Part II

So as my friends know, I survived the "meet the parents" Thanksgiving, and now... Sean has been invited back for the HOlidays both Christmas Eve and Christmas.

yes, that means this will be my first time bringing a boyfriend home to potentially sleep in the guest bedroom with. I can't help it, but it makes me feel a tad uncomfortable. I mean, I know we're adults and all - and I commend my parents acceptance. But going home with a boyfriend makes me feel like a teenager again for some reason. And spending the night with Sean... I can't explain it. Even though I didn't grow up in the house they currently live in, the idea still feels awkward .

The real kicker is that Chef Sean is cooking dinner for my family!

PS - I realize today I missed my usual "DILF Wednesday" installment. The Poison Pen currently has a bad cough and stayed home at Sean's place in McLean today and let him take care of me. So I promise when I'm feeling better I'll make it up to you. Any DILF special requests?

PSS - I rarely do product promos, by I gotta tell you: Tylenol Nighttime Cough and Sore Throat Syrup is way better than even Nyquil - and they aren't fucking around with that stuff either! I took some and by the time Sean and I got to the grocery store to pick something up, I almost fell out of the car into the parking lot. It's like taking bong hits! Cough Syrup Martinis!!

Monday, December 08, 2008

Who Put the Hidden Cam in My Bathroom??

So since some biotches at Youtube took down the bootlegged Britney video in yesterday's post, I was forced to find a new one and came across this fuckery:
I'm not sure whether to laugh or what... but now you know what my morning routine looks like when I'm getting ready for work...

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Baby It's Cold Outside!

I'm staying indoors tonight trying to shake a cough I have (I'm sure going out with my friends Friday didn't help, but hey it had been a long week!). So yeah, Friday I went out with friends to Jack's, Cobalt and Town. You know, as painful as it is for me to say nice things, I have to give Cobalt some golf-claps for their little remodel. The restaurant menu looks chintzy and uninspired, but the decor for the upstairs bars look quite nice.

Let's see... Saturday night I went to a party of one of Sean's friends in Vienna, and we took the train into the city. Ok, I'm all for pubic [typo - but it stays!] transportation; but when every fucking line has track maintenance delays, what's supposed to convince people to not just drive? Some days I really hate Metro, and when I have to have collectively 30+ minutes for trains, it really makes me just want to drive. The whole idea was so that we both could have fun and not have to drive all Drunky McDrunkerson. (Note to friends - and frienemies - have a designated driver this HOliday season! The Poison Pen means it!!)

I've done some HOliday shopping, but I feel like I still have heaps left to do before Festivus! Which reminds me, if you're not on my HOliday card list (or, if you've changed address in the last year) email me so you can be on my Festivus HOliday card list.

"There's only 2 types of people in the world - the ones that entertain, and the ones that serve..." -Britney Spears, Circus

Friday, December 05, 2008

I...I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight...

must've been some kind of Giant Gummy Bear on a Stick.

I swear some days it's like marketers can read my mind!

And You Thought Congress Was Crazy

For something different, read this. I've been chatting with friends in Canada today about a government meltdown that is going on there right now. Parliamentary governments are bit more complex that out Congress, so my friends abroad have always been patent with me explaining how things like a "minority government" work. Long story short, Canada's Prime Minister, Steven Harper, fearing he would be kicked out of office by a coalition in Paraliament, asked the Governor General (The Queen's representative in Canada - it's part of the British Commonwealth, remember) to suspend Parliament. This would be the equivalent of Bush suspending Congress - can you imagine the shitstorm we'd have here if that happened?!

Crazy government roller-coasters or not, I'd rather be a subject of the Queen and have full rights as a gay human being, than a 2nd-class citizen.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Hey Mr DJ...

So Sean and I have a bit of a conundrum: We don't have a "song." You know, how every couple has a "song." Whether it was playing on the car radio the first time you made out, or something they sang to one night at Karaoke, most couples seem to have one. I know pretty much every guy I've dated had a song with me (well, I can't recall one for Drunky - anyone know any songs about dating an angry drunk?).
SO - I need to find a song, I'm thinking. Any good candidates? It can't be Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath My Wings," Elton John's "Tiny Dancer," or Snow Patrol's "Run." - Don't laugh, I can't help the fact my exes all had bad taste in music (minus Snow Patrol - I had to give M****** credit for that one).

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

DILF Wednesdays: Ben Browder

I know he's kind of a D-list actor (Google him, you've probably seen him on TV) but he kinda reminds me of Sean when he's clean-shaven. (Which, by the way, he did before meeting my parents. It's been over a year since I've seen his face, it's taking some getting used to!)

Be Good for Goodness Sake

So December is here (already!) and it’s the start of the HOliday season. You know, I have to bitch about something. There’s been all this hoopla over bus signs that the American Humanist Association has this holiday season. As may be expected, the Jeebus freaks have their panties in a wad over it.

You know, I’m really sick the last few years of the fundamentalist X-ian “debate” that they bring up every December about “Merry Christmas” vs. “Happy Holidays” and putting Jeebus back as the “reason for the season.”

1) Jeebus is NOT the reason for the season. Actually, the winter solstice is. Crack open a history book.
2) Again, X-ians (and people “of faith” in general) seem to think they have this monopoly on “morality” or ethics. They obviously don’t. Like the sign says, just be good for goodness sake, not because your invisible friend is watching you.
3) If they want to go back to their interpretation of the “real” meaning of X-mas, let’s do that with all the holidays! I think The Onion parodies this best (see movie clip below). Halloween? Let’s go back to the original spirit of the season, LOL!

In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?