Saturday, December 25, 2004

I Wish I Had a River...I Could Skate Away On...

Subtitle: Nut-cracker Sweet!


Well, it’s Christmas Day, and I could be better. You see, I think I may have bronchitis. Of course, I don’t know because I’m too scared to go to the doctor, but I’ve been hacking up my lungs for almost a week now. But I think I am slowly getting better. Really.
So last night I met some friends and we did a gift exchange. Then I had dinner with the family and over-indulged on wine, etc. Started to watch Santa Claus The Movie, which I hadn’t seen since I was like 5 or something. But then I passed out in my room an hour later. But at some point in the night my coughing got worse. I woke up feeling shitty and couldn’t get back to sleep. So I watched part of the Pope presiding over midnight mass in the Vatican, the whole transubstantiation bullshit (hey it was the a.m. hours of Christmas, not much on tv) You’ll think I’m a dork, but I actually was hoping to see“The Nutcracker Suite.” I like the story! But I wound up watching the movie “Swimfan.” Ooohhh. Jesse Bradford. I think Chris Carrabba has come competition for Adam’s Celebrity Crush. It was a nice movie. Ok , the plot sucked, but hey, when you can’t sleep, it’s nice to see a movie full of young men in speedos. As the two gay film reviewers on “In Living Color” used to say, “It gets three snaps!” Snap, snap snap!

Jesse Bradford
Chris Carrabba
I did drift off for a few hours, only to woken at 8 to go downstairs for the present-opening ritual.
I’ll just cut to the chase and list Adam’s Christmas Booty from both family & friends:
A fat check from my parents (they didn’t know what else to get me), along with an electric razor, and a digital camcorder! I got a bunch of colorful cookbooks (I collect them, cooking is one of my little hobbies), a giftcard to Old Navy (thanks Bob), a bottle of wine, candy, a backgammon set, Acqua Di Gio (my favorite cologne), CDs by Gwen Stefani, Ciara, Kill Bill on DVD (thanks Kurt) and a stuffed animal and other stuff(thanks PJ).
On a side note I did have this weird dream this morning that Casey, my ex, was breaking into my house to kill me. He was coming up the stairs with a crowbar in his hand, dressed in all black wearing a ski-mask like burglars in the movies. Weird. So I started looking online for dream interpretations and such, and came across Slow Wave. It’s a website where this guy takes people’s real weird dreams, and makes them into a comic book.

Well that's about all I have to say for now... have a Merry ChrismaHanuKwanzukah!

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Yule be Sorry...

Well happy Winter Solstice/Yule to all, today is the first official day of Winter in the Northern Hemisphere! It snowed quite a bit night before last, and I feel very much in the spirit. Actually, I just got a check of Christmas money from my family, so I definately am in a better mood.

Hmmm there's been so much going on in my life lately I don't know where to begin. Hmmm, well if you are bored, go visit my friend Kiki's livejournal. You know, I almost started an account with Livejournal but I'm not sure I liked it as much as Blogger.

Let's see...well I got really upset friday night while attending a Guerilla Queer Bar invasion. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, it's basically a bunch of gay people "invading" a predominantly straight bar. Normally lots of fun. I missed the last two sadly, but I made an effort to come to this one...until...

The ex. Yes, he came, and even though his sorry ass showed up for all of four seconds and then left, it was enough to ruin my evening completely. I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM IHATEHIMMMMMMMM!!!!
I really wish he'd just stay the fuck out of my life completely! Or better yet go step in front of an oncoming metrobus.

Fortunately this weekend I also learned that the antics and misbehaviors of my Neaderthal ex should not bother me so much. After all, I had a good time with my real and true friends, I have my family, and I have a guy I'm becomming romantically involved with. So basically I can do without enemies or people trying to ruin my good time. Incidentally, among my gifts at the gift-exchange I did with my friends, I got Kill Bill (one of the movies I am obsessed with!), the new CD by Gwen Stefani (which totally kicks ass), and the new CD by Ciara.

Well, the week is far from over, I'll keep you posted on how the holidays go for me. And if you want to get me something, feel free... like, say, maybe Chris Carrabba with a big bow under my Yule tree?
Speaking of which, have you noticed his new emo/hipster haircut. I think I'm partial to his old look, but you be the judge...


Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Rhombused in Richmond

subtitle: I’m so excited, I’m so excited!

"Hello! Anyone home?"

I was just pondering how the days have gotten so short…the Winter Solstice is only a week away. Man, it seems like just yesterday it was the long hazy days of midsummer. Time seems to go so fast sometimes! I don’t know if that’s necessarily a good thing, either.
Well, what happened this weekend? My friend Kurt picked me up on Saturday morning (yes, early Saturday morning) and we decided to do some more early shopping. Damn, I’m starting to sound like a suburban soccer-mom, getting all excited over early morning holiday shop-a-thons! Hold on, gotta get the brownies out of the oven. Ok seriously, so we went all the way out to Manassas Mall. Why, I’m not sure. But a town that has the words “Man” and “Ass” in its name has got to be good…or so one would think. The mall sucked and I didn’t get a whole lot, but it was fun hanging out with Kurt. Afterwards I went home, and got ready to drive down to Richmond and meet PJ at his work.
I made it in decent time, despite getting lost at one point. We shared a cup of bubble tea, and went back to his place. We exchanged ChrismaHannuKwaanzikah gifts. It turns out he already owned the two things I bought him, so we exchanged them, got something to eat and went to his friend Laura’s place. It was nice meeting her, and despite the drama she was having that night with her boyfriend (another story altogether) we went to a bar/club in downtown Richmond.
Getting Rhombused with the Santas:
This is where it starts to get surreal. So the place was called Tiki Bob’s. For reasons I never did learn, it was men-dress-as-Santa-Claus night, I suppose. Now, keep in mind I haven’t been in a bar with that many straight people (or white people) in a long time. I mean common, DC is largely racially mixed and I go to the clubs in the gay-bourhood. But even worse, seeing 1,000 heterosexual Santas trying to dance to hip-hop while scantily clad bimbos danced on stage. I guess if I were straight I’d like that kinda stuff?
Which got me onto another surreal thought: as I stood there watching all of this, I wondered, “Would this be me and my friends if we were all straight and there was no such thing as being gay?”
Then, I tried thinking of certain gay people I know, and what they would look like, how they would dress, etc. if they’d been born straight. I tried imagining my gay male friends lusting after pussy! It was quite funny, let me tell you.
On the way home, being very stupid in Laura’s car, we came up with the phrase “rhombused.” As in the shape rhombus (remember from geometry class?). I can’t even remember how we got to that joke, but when we did, it seemed really funny at the time. Guess you had to be there. So, dictionary people, let me present to you a new entry for your 2005 dictionaries of the English language.
Rhombused – (verb) See also beat, dissed, insulted, outdone. Example: “You just got rhombused, girl!”
Ah, the weird inside jokes inspired by alcohol.
The next day while sleeping in, we watched on of PJ's favorite shows, "Saved By The Bell." My favorite was the episode "Jessie's Song" in which Jessie get's hooked on caffeine pills in order to study and do shitty music with the other girls. She winds up having a bad trip and singing the Pointer Sister's "I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so...scared!" Truly racy stuff for the times, I suppose.
Later, PJ took me to Carytown, a section of Richmond that is quite interesting and reminds me a bit of Dupont Circle. We had brunch at the Galaxy Diner and walked around and perused all the neat little shops. By late that afternoon I had to return home, so sadly I had to leave.

Blue Ring Octopus
You are DANGEROUS! The blue ring octopus has a
venom that paralyzes its victim. Even though
the victim can still think clearly, it cannot
move or speak. You live near Australia, and
even though you are very good looking, just
like a James Bond villain, you are quite

Which Cephlapod Are You?
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So let’s see, that brings us to Monday. Before going to work I was hanging out at Soho after having pad thai at Hunan Dynasty (P & 21st St.) and met this guy who I’ve met before (as usual I’m avoiding names to protect the innocent) and he offered me a PR job for a large non-profit group he directs (again, the importance of not naming names). Long story short, after work, he called me and invited me to his apartment over on 17th St.
Well, I should’ve seen it coming. He’s an older gentleman…ok, he’s 60. He made me a cup of jasmine tea and started discussing the job and all that stuff. Then he tells me I’m very attractive. Then he’s sitting next to me in the couch. Then his hands are on me. Next thing I know he’s pulling me on top of him and grabbing me.
Now, trying to be as professional, polite, and understanding as I could be, I told him I felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave. He apologized, but I was still really creeped out by the whole thing. I don’t know what I’m going to do. He still wants me to take this job, but I really don’t know. It sounds good, but I’d have a chickenhawk for a boss. WHY!
Last night, walking away from his apartment, it was SO cold and windy. Tonight was cold too. And more drama!
On the way to work the train cars I was riding on to work on the red-line of the Metro broke down. All passengers had to get off and wait in the freezing cold (it was an above-ground station) until the train could be moved and a new train came to pick us up. I was late for work, but no big deal. But damn, the Metro can be such a pain sometimes.
When I got off work tonight, there was the first snow of the season. I love snow, what more can I say? It didn’t snow much, but it’s so pretty. And that has been my week in review.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Thursday, December 09, 2004

(Insert Smartass Titile Here)

It's a rainy Thursday evening, and I'm sitting in the relatively empty Soho Tea & Coffee killing time before I have to teach my night class. Hmmm, not much new here to report since my last emo-tional gripe, er, post.

And now: I've been telling people this for years. And now I have the quiz results to prove it!

You Are The Suave Gay Man

What Type Of Gay Man Are You?
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Wednesday, December 08, 2004

A Long December...

I can’t believe I’m even titling this post “A Long December,” considering that I’m only 5 days into the Holiday month.
And I’m hating it already. It’s been a bad week.
God, I don’t even want to start, but let’s just say the stars haven’t exactly been kind to me. Do you ever have one of those weeks where everything that can go wrong does? Well it’s been a shitty week and I don’t know of things are getting better or not. But man I HATE DECEMBER! Die holidays die!
Like today, for example, I went and visited the most tackily decorated house in all of Northern Virginia, just for kicks. The place is covered in Christmas lights, glowing manger scenes, etc. So much so it’s been covered in the newspapers pretty much every year around this time. If you want directions, e-mail me. In the meantime, visit this website to see more terribly decorated homes. And I ask myself, what IS it about December that inspires such stupidity in people.
Ok, I have to confess. I have been forcibly trying to induce some Yuletide spirit into my life.
My friend Kurt has been kind enough to chauffeur me around this weekend and we did a little Christmas shopping. I’m glad I was able to get a start, but I still have some people left that I am really not sure what to get. I’m really trying to be a good gift-giver this year, since I’ve been pretty unoriginal in the past. And tonight while watching “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas” I started the tedious job of filling out holiday cards to mail to people. Only got halfway done before I gave up for the night…too many cards, too much envelope glue on my tongue. But the whole thing kinda got me in the mood.
Deck the Halls
You are 'Deck the Halls'! Let's be honest, it
isn't Christmas you are celebrating, is it? In
fact, you know full well that there were no
shepherds in the fields in December, and that
the date of Christmas was put at midwinter
specifically to coincide with the older
celebrations of Yule and the birth of Mithras.
An unashamed Pagan, you take great glee in the
number of carols referring to holly, evergreens
and Winter's end, and will sing them with
gusto. You know where they really came from.
And you do enjoy the seasonal celebrations,
regardless of their name... A merry Yule to

What Christmas Carol are you?
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Bitching about the year:
Now that December is here, I can start to reflect on 2004 as a whole. I’m not trying to be a pessimist (I’ve had really good years), but this year as a whole has pretty much sucked ass. Let’s review:
I entered into 2004 at a sucky party in Columbia Heights (won’t mention any names, but it was someone’s apartment near 14th street), in a really shitty situation. I was still living with Hitler, er, I mean my ex (again, I’ll refrain from using names). The low-life scumbag asshole ugly lying motherfucker was cheating on me with some equally low-life busted-looking bucktoothed redneck. He had, I came to realize, used me. Plain and simply used me. He ruined that entire Christmas and New Years. I can honestly say that was one of the worst times in my life. Thank-you Casey. Woops, said I wouldn’t mention any names but I did. Asshole. I hope this Christmas is as bad for you as mine was for me last year. (And perhaps the reader is beginning to understand part of why I hate Christmas)
After dealing with him (and I’m STILL dealing with him as he owes me money and keeps telling me he loves me even though he has a new boyfriend and won’t leave me the hell alone and stop lying all the time) I did start dating other guys, NICE guys, and that was one bright point to this year.
Nothing quite worked out the way I wanted it to this year. I spent the better part of the summer unemployed yet searching for a job. I did have fun with my friends a lot this summer (going to the clubs, a trip to Rehoboth) but I also always had to watch my money and worry about getting a job. Fall came, wasn’t able to go to grad school as I’d planned even though I did get accepted into George Washington and American University. Long story short, I fucked up my financial aid shit because I didn’t know what I was doing, my parents weren’t being much help at all, and neither was my ex about paying what he owes me on time. I did get a job, so that’s good. I work, I party, but all in all it’s been a pretty blah year. One final highlight, however, was meeting PJ this fall and getting to meet him last month. I have to admit to being more than a little commitment-phobic, given my last experiences. I mean, I think it’s great having a guy in your life. Relationships, especially at the beginning “getting to know you” stage can be really fun. But sometimes I feel like what’s the point of putting all that energy into a relationship when you get shat on by the other person in the end? Well, one thing I have learned is not to be loving to the point of stupidity like I was with Casey. I.e., never “help” your lover out financially, not matter what! You will wind up sorry for it in the long run. Never go along with what your lover wants to do, because you will feel bad about all the time you wasted. My ex was a stay-at-home person; at least he never would go out with me. Not to clubs, not to bars, not to restaurants, nothing (except maybe Soho, and he’d usually either ignore me or go off with someone else like he did that one time with Anthony). He made me feel bad for wanting to be with my much-more-exciting friends. I hate to think about what I missed out on because of him. I also learned not to trust someone too much, because you set yourself up. All the times Casey lied to me, and I pretty much let him. I let him walk all over me like a doormat. He fucked around behind my back, and how pathetic is it that I actually tried to “make it work” rather than just leave his no-good ass and walk away with some dignity. He was one of the most self-absorbed, narcissistic, controlling, and manipulative individuals I have ever met, and for some reason I loved him. Well, at first I loved him. In retrospect, my love sort of faded and transformed into something else. Whatever it was, it wasn’t love.
Alright, now it seems I’ve gotten off on a tangent about the ex, but this really feels therapeutic to get all the anger off my chest. I would tell my ex to his face, but he never really listens. Narcissistic people tend not to. I could create a whole blog about my experiences in that disastrous relationship. But I had to get these things off my chest because they are part of what is making this December so shitty for me. A year has passed, and yet the ghosts of the past are still very much alive.
Yet, I have found someone that interests me, that I can tell is a NICE guy. I have all of my friends that stuck by me this year through all the drama. So maybe everything will be all right after all.
“It’s been a long December, and there’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last. Can’t remember all the times I tried to tell myself to hold onto these moments as they pass…”
–“Long December” by the Counting Crows.