Saturday, November 27, 2004

Existentialist Malaise: The Holiday Special

Presenting my blog's very own made-for-tv Lifetime original Holiday Special: Existentialist Malaise and Why The Holidays Tend to Suck Ass.

But before I go into that, I want to post some pictures of the incredibly cute boy that was captured my interest in Richmond.



Butterflies in my stomach, he's so cuute. Listen, I know what you all are thinking. Cynical Adam is turning soft on us. I assure you I am not. Well maybe just a little.
So, this being Thanksgiving and all, it is the beginning of the holiday season. As Dickens put it best, it is “the best of times” and the “worst of times.” I love certain aspects of the, shall we say, Winter Solstice/Yuletide holidays. I like the cold weather, being around good friends, food, alcohol, presents, decorations, and having a special person to snuggle with. Awww. On the other hand I hate the total hypocrisy of the “Christmas spirit,” the strange ways the human herd starts behaving, and that feeling of lonliness that can sometimes come with the darker longer nights. It’s a strange time of year. And like it or not it has begun.
And with a bang. I had Thanksgiving with the family, which was surprisingly very good. Not that it’s ever bad, for some reason this year it tasted really good. Normally I don’t get all worked up about “bland” food like turkey and mashed potatoes etc., but this year it was excellent.
I think the combination of turkey and way too many glasses of wine I sort of passed out. When I came out of my stupor I talked to a bunch of people on the phone until the wee hours of the morning when I remembered I’d promised to go shopping with my friends Kurt and Bob! By this time I’d gotten my second wind so-to-speak. So I only got 2-3 hours of sleep before
My alarm clock went off at 6:00 am. I seriously debated pussing out and going back to bed, but I got up and met Kurt at Starfucks er, I mean Starbucks. Ugh dawn! Bob showed up and we went to hit up the sales at Target. Maybe it was the lack of sleep we all had, but we were acting childish as hell. Scratch that, THEY were acting childish. We were joking that they were the two kids and I was always being the Daddy telling them to behave.
After that Bob drove us to Fair Oaks Mall but I don’t think any of us actually bought anything. Later Bob drove us into the city and we stopped by Kurt’s job (the State Department incidentally) so he could get his paycheck and we ate nearby at a Chinese restaurant Kurt’s fond of called the Magic Gourd on 23rd St in the Foggy Bottom neighborhood . Afterwards we went to Dupont, and walked around. It was a pretty cold day today! But in the sun it wasn’t so bad so we sat on the street patio of Cosi- (which I will always remember by it’s former name Xando) and people-watched until the sun dipped behind the highrises and it got too cold. From there we hit up The Leather Rack which as the name suggests in an adult/Leather store. We looked at porn and buttplugs, and I saw a leather harness that I actually kinda like. Should I be admitting that?
Oh god, and after eating leftovers from last night I feel stuffed like a turkey and tired as hell. But before I hit the hay, two subjects that came to mind today: First,
Fortune Cookies
Ok, I have this thing with fortune cookies. It all started months ago while eating at City Lights of China on Connecticut Ave. As usual the fortune cookie comes with the check at the end of the meal (along with supernaturally sweet oranges...I suspect there is an “ancient Chinese secret” involved in them). Anywho, I opened my fortune cookie to find… NOTHING! No fortune. So I shrugged it off as a mere coincidence.
Until a month later while eating at Thai-phoon (what a lovely pun, but not as good as Thai-tanic haha!) I got another fortune cookie. Without a damn fortune. Everyone else got one but not me. So I told the waitress, and she looked at me like I had Ebola or the Bubonic Plague (I guess not getting a fortune is a bad omen), so she quickly got me another one. And guess what? NOTHING.
Now, any mathmeticians out there, will you please calculate the statistical chances of that happening 3 times in a row!! Furthermore, what does this mean for me? That I have no future?!
Well today at the Magic Gourd my bad luck streak officially ended. My fortune cookie (which I was understandably apprehensive about opening) read: “You will be surrounded by good friends.” How true, how true.
Marianne -- The Romantic
You're Mariane Dashwood from Sense &
! You are the romantic
youngster, also found in Jane Austen's work as
Catherine of Northanger Abbey and
possibly Georgiana Darcy of Pride and
. You wander through life like Red
Riding Hood in the forest, picking wildflowers
and humming a happy song... and you can't see
the wolf right in front of you! Ruled by heart
and not by head, you are best advised to to
learn a little caution, before you are forced
into a better acquaintance with the ways of the

Which Jane Austen Character Are You?
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Oh, and the other thing, after a rather large Long Island Iced Tea after lunch at the Magic Gourd I left my pack of cigarettes which included my very precious “Liechtenstein Lighter” that you all complement me on when you see it. It’s basically an intricate silver lighter holder I bought during a bus ride back in 2002 I took from Munich to Lucerne in Switzerland. The bus stopped in Liechtenstein for a lunch break, so I figured what the hell…I explored the town of Vaduz, which is about the size of Dupont Circle. Anyway, in the tacky little gift shop I came across that lighter and loved it dearly. I’m still upset I lost it! I wonder if I’ll ever be able to replace it. Such is life.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

To Richmond and Back, and Everything In-Between

Ok, I tried creating this post earlier, but my Internet Explorer for some odd reason just quit on me! So I am trying to remember everything I wrote to start again. I hate it when this shit happens!
You're a Bloody Mary!  An acquired taste that combines vodka, tomato juice, tabasco, worcestershire sauce, lemon juice, salt and pepper and a stick of celery!  Those that love you are
""Which cocktail are you?""

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Hmm indeed. So what has been happening with me this week since I last posted? (god I am still frustrated about not saving all the shit I just wrote!) Well the work week went rather uneventfully. Now remember in my last entry when I said I would be going to Richmond to visit that guy I met on Friendster this weekend? (By the way, if you haven’t joined Friendster yet you should, it’s fun)
Well, I did visit him, but as usual for me there was plenty of drama along the way. Read on…
Well I started to leave in my brother’s car. I was driving down I-95 when the car started acting funny. I managed to pull off on an exit when the car completely died! So there I was in the middle of what felt like nowhere on some dark country road on a rainy night. Sort of like the beginning of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Anyway, there were no Transylvanian Transvestites to be found, as this nowhereland was called Ashland, Virginia. Incedentally, if you look on their webpage, their town motto is “center of the universe.” Let me assure you that based on what I saw of Ashland, it is far from the center of ANYTHING.
Well I wound up having to call AAA and have them try to fix or tow the car. Fortunately, they allowed me to be towed anywhere within 100 miles! Sweet. So I was able to have it towed all the way back to near where my family lives, at a repair shop down the street. I’m sure my bro and folks weren’t exactly thrilled about the cost of repairs. It turned out to be an alternator problem, plus while driving it on a bad alternator, we’d managed to drain the battery and ruin the fan belts. Not cheap. But it wasn’t exactly my fault. I do seem to have a not-so-magic touch with cars though. Don’t ever lend me yours. Something will probably go wrong, I promise. Anyway, I left the car at the repair shop. My friend Kurt who lives around my parents came and picked me up, as I still hadn’t eaten dinner yet. He told me he’d just broken up with his boy Travis. So we went to the Silver Diner and stuffed our faces, chain-smoked, and commiserated on our lives.

The next day the repairs were finished, so I made my attempt at this voyage again. Adam Does Richmond, Volume II. But before I begin that let me take a breather and leave you with this eye-candy intermission.

Chris Carrabba Dashboard Confessional
Chris Carrabba, lead singer of the emo-rock band Dashboard Confessional. Ok, so typically I hate emo, and especially emo indie-rock boys. Not because they are necessarily ugly (some look quite nice when they take a shower, shave, and put on real clothes that didn’t come from a thrift store) but rather because well, emo is mopey and it sucks. Chris, however, is a sweet exception. Tall, dark, handsome, and lots of tattoos. Don’t worry sad little emo boy, you can cry on my shoulder anyday!

Ok so about Richmond. (by the way, has anyone else noticed how Richmond seems to be filled with emo and punk boys?) I made it ok and in one piece and finally got to meet PJ face-to-face. He was as cute and handsome as I expected he would be, if not more, and was very sweet to me. We went to a party at his friend Laura’s house, and we had a fun time hanging out with eachother. I wish I’d had longer, but we had fun while it lasted. The next afternoon I had to drive back, it sucks working but oh well. I was tired as shit, from little sleep and driving, but I made to work, taught my night class. Oh, and then my friend Tom calls to tell me he and his girlfriend, also a friend of mine, Colleen had broken up. (an earlier this week my good friend Raven and her boyfriend Kevin/”Ollie” broke up!) At this point it was really strange. Kurt and Travis, Raven and Ollie, and now Tom and Colleen. For those of you who don’t know them, they were like the indestructible super-couple of DC. I mean, they have been together for so long we thought they’d be getting married or some shit. Of course, it figures when I, Adam, find a boy, everyone else’s love life goes to shit. Well, there was drama at Soho because of all this. But some good points of news; Raven and Ollie are back together. I am possibly going to Richmond again this weekend to see PJ again. And other than that I think that’s about it!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Larry the Turkey

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Serial Killers, Strippers, & Shopping Malls

Ah, hello. It has been awhile, hasn't it? I would have written yesterday but truth be told I just got too damn lazy. So what has been going on in my life?
Well for some reason I've been reading a lot about serial killers. My morbid reading tastes lately, I tell you! First it was zombies, then it was vampires, and now serial killers. Well that link I just gave is a to website with lots of information on serial killers. Fun times. But who would Adam be like, were he a serial killer, you may ask. Well...
You are Mary Bell.
You are Mary Bell. At the ripe old age of 10 you
strangled a neighbor boy, afterwhich you carved
your initals into his skin. At his funreal you
laughed. Your next victim was a 3 year old. You
pushed him off the roof, resulting in a broken
skull. After he was found you went to his
mothers house and asked to see him, she replied
tha t he was dead. You smiled brightly and said
'Oh, I know he's dead. I wanted to see him in
his coffin."
You horrid little girl you.
-smacks your hand-

Which Imfamous criminal are you?
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Well! Let's temper that with a slightly less disturbing quiz. Maybe I should quit these things...people are going to start to wonder about me.


What herb are you?
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Aww, now wasn't that quaint. Ok so about my week. Me me me! So my recollection only goes back to last Wednesday (Nove 10) so that's where I'll begin. After work I randomly ran into my friends Joe, Zach, and Colleen. Chris came and joined us and we all piled into a cab going to Wet in Southeast. Well the dumbass cabbie dropped us of like six blocks away or something at Ziegfields/Secrets. So we walked through the lovely neighborhood that is southeast Washington through the darkened streets of night until we got to Wet (a gay strip club next to The Edge) and then there was ID issues.
Zach, it seems, had left his ID at work. So between the other three guys in our group we decided that my ID was the most passable for him. (Nevermind the fact that he's like 5"5' and I'm 6", or the fact that we look oh I don't know NOTHING alike). So he barrowed my newsboy cap and he and Colleen and Chris went in, while me and Joe (thank-you) waited out in the butt-ass-cold in the ghetto. The plan was that they would go in, and then Colleen would come out to meet me and give me my ID back so I could go in. Yeah, I know what you readers are thinking. Well, it sorta worked. The lady checking IDs would have been more likely to believe Zach was Tom Cruise, but they let him in anyway, albeit with big Xs on his hand. I got in no prob, but Zach kept trying to steal my hat all night. Too bad it looks betta on me! haha! A highlight of the night (for me anyway) was when the hot daddy-ish guy in a cop uniform told me "spread 'em son" and "frisked" me against the bar with his police baton. I've been a bad boy...very very bad.
Hmmm....thursday work and hung out after work at Soho, went home, talked to this guy I met on Friendster. Speaking of which I am going down to RIchmond to meet him for the first time. Actually I'm a bit nervous. I meen I've never done the whole meeting people online thing, I've always met people face-to-face. So we shall see what happens. He seems like a really sweet guy, and he's attractive/cute. Friday, sad as this sounds, I can't really remember WHAT I did. I really can't. Saturday I went shopping in Georgetown, namely to find a gift for someone. My friends Colleen and Zach, who I mentioned earlier, both work at the Sephora on M st. so I paid them a visit and got hooked up. I love that store! I also wound up hangin gout with my ex (I know, I know) which is usually a bad idea and winds up being a disaster, but he was abnormally nice and civil. I've noticed he has more control over his behaviour in public these days. Maybe he is finally starting to change and grow up. Well he's a day late and a dollar short. And I still only trust him as far as I can throw him (and I can't even pick him up!).
The next day too I went shopping and had dinner with my friends Kurt, Bob, and Kurt's boyfriend Travis. I got some cute jeans at Hollister but I'm going to have to take them back tomorrow because they don't fit right, and some nice shirts at H&M. Christmas may not be here yet, but I am already shopping... for ME. I need to control myself. And today, Monday (ok it's after midnight so it's technically Tuesday now) I went to the post office to mail a package, got some food, went to work. Seriously, how exciting. I live for my weekends. Of course I could go out everynight of the week like some uber-fags around here tend to, but then I never did like being flat broke and going to work with nasty hangovers. My weekends begin on Thursday, typically.
Alright, I'll stop babbling and with love until next time... In the meantime feel free to Email me!

Friday, November 05, 2004

Hey ho daddy-o! /Dealing with Urban Queer Egos

I'm feeling a little more resigned to fate today, a little less angry than I was before. So today let's talk about sex. That's always good for getting one's mind off of politics.
So last night while riding home from work on the Metro (DC's answer to a subway system) which was seriosuly delayed because of a terrible accident on Wednesday at the Woodley Park Station...wait. That was a run-on sentence. I should know better. Ok new sentence: So anyway, I was riding the Metro home and this really HOT guy in a Naval officer's uniform got on and sat across from me. He smiled at me in THAT way that makes ones "gaydar" go off the chart. So we played the eye-contact game for a good five minutes until he finally got off at his stop, and grinned at me going up the I went off into the dark tunnel with train. What was I thinking!? Why didn't I just get the balls to talk to the man. Of course, he could have started a conversation too. But still. My point, however, is this: The man had gunmetal gray hair. He was obviously old enough to really be my "daddy." And yet I was really turned on by him and it wasn't the uniform either. I've always had this thing for masculine, fit, older well, "daddy" types. Salt-n-pepper hair and gunmetal gray hair I find really hot for some reason. Am I the only one? And NO, unlike a lot of gold-digging twinks around here, I am not interested in being supported or playing "son." Far from it.
Let's take super-hottie news reporter Anderson Cooper (who is gay by the way...)
Yum... such piercing eyes too. And lets take another look at him just for fun. Oooh daddy!
Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me? Post your comments below.

Urban Snobbery: My Thoughts
And now for my other rant of the day. Last night while hanging out with some friends after work at Soho tea and coffee one of my friends (who as always shall remain nameless) introduced me to their new boyfriend. Well, ths guy was really cute, I have to give it to him. But his attitude stank. First, when he asked me and my other friend where we lived/what we did etc., my other friend responded that he lives in Arlington. At this, the boyfriend's lip curled, and he started talking about how he hates the suburbs, how he thinks Alrington is out "in the boonies."
Which it isn't! Hello dumbass, it's right across the river. But I bit my tongue because this guy was my friend's new boyfriend, even if he did insult my other friend. But that really got me thinking about the way so many ubran queers carry themselves.
A) First off, you KNOW half of you mutherfuckers grew up in some small ass town either in the Midwest or the South. You move to a big city so you don't get picked on as much, for example New York, DC, Philly, LA, etc. And then you have the nerve to turn around and insult fellow gays who don't choose to live in Glammatown like you do. This may come as a shock to you, but I've met plenty of great gay men and couples who live in suburbia...and are happy!
B) Now, Ive never big a big fan of suburbia or the rural areas myself...but after having lived in DC and having been surrounded by some of the rediculous pretentions of fellow gay men....I'm starting to reconsider. Why can't there be more down-to-earth non-materialistic gay men in the cities? Oh...that's right. They live in the "evil" suburbs.
I hate you so've got to learn to be
patient with people in life cause not
everybody's perfect. You may want to hate them,
but really...if you just give people a could learn not to hate so many

which happy bunny are you?
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Thursday, November 04, 2004

Living in the Twilight Zone /... defeat

"You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone..."
-Rod Serling

Well that's pretty much how I feel today. Except I felt a little worse yesterday. I had been at Cobalt DC (which is their very fun Tuesday night retro party, by the way) with a friend watching the Elections go down...and down...and down. I didn't even feel like getting out of bed yesterday. And today I feel pretty dark about all this still, and its a shitty cold rainy day and I need a valium & a prozac and a glass of wine to wash it down with.

Ok, maybe I'm getting a bit whiney. So moving on (and hoping this is all a sick dream that I will wake up from and find Kerry as the real victor)
Speaking of the Twilight Zone earlier, if you liked the old episodes of that show, perhaps you like Rod Serling's other less-known television series, Night Gallery. Night Gallery is one of my personal favorites, and it features a couple storylines inspired by one of my favorite horror authors, Howard Philips Lovecraft.

Hmmm, what else is going on? Well maybe for 2008 we should elect this woman for President:

Ok, well I think I am psychologically worn out from all this stress of the last few days. seriously, I think I want to fall into a nice 3-day coma after today.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004


Hmmm, quite.
You are a Bolshevik!
You are a Bolshevik! Hooray!!! You've just
overthrown the Tsar!!!! Now all you have to
look forward to is the fulfillment of the
wondrous dream of Pure Communism! Of course,
you will not live to see it because Stalin will
have you shot as a traitor.

What kind of Russian are you?
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Vote vote vote vote vote vote vote vote!
Did I mention you should vote today? If you live in the United States and are eligible to vote, DO IT! This may be one of the most important elections in our lifetimes. What happens today will effect not only the situation here, but across the world. Bush has to be defeated! If he's not...well I will be looking into migrating to France. As of this moment, I am hopeful that Kerry will win. I think enough people out there are pissed-off enough to want to vote when they may normally be apathetic. I hope this is the case. But nothing will change unless you get out there and do it. Otherise some NASCAR watching beer drinkin-hick will vote for you and we can't have that!

Ok, I'll get off my soapbox for now. Wait, one last thing. Don't muck things up by voting for Nader. And all you "Log Cabin" gay Republicans don't screw this up either. Newsflash: the Republican Party doesn't like you. If you were at a aprty and realized nobody there liked you, would you stay? And don't give me any of that "fiscal conservatism" or "compassionate conservatism" crap either. Bush is not compassionate. ARGH!
Ok, class dismissed for today. Stop reading this and get thee to thy polls.

Monday, November 01, 2004

How I Spent My Samhain Weekend...

Well, it's November 1st already (hard to believe given it's such a beautiful day). I'm kind of dissapointed actually. Somehow this was a fun weekend, but sort of anti-climactic in some ways, and definately funn of surprises. So where to begin...
Well, Saturday me and my friend Raven met at Soho and then went over to my friend Kiki's apartment (you can see her- and some other friends, via my myspace profile. )

Then we went to Chiaroscuro at The Edge. Th Edge is at 56 L St. SE, and in specific, Chiaroscuro is their Saturday night goth/industrial party. So of course I figured that Chiaro fell on the night before Halloween it had to be good. Right? Well not exactly. The place was pretty dead. Toward the end of the night things sort of picked up, but not quite the necromantic orgy I was hoping for...
Another incident that night was when Raven, fearing she may have another blood clot in her leg, had to be taken to the emergency room. So we drove her to GW Hopsital and fortunately her mom met us there so she could be with her. We were all really worried, but since there was nothing more we could do, we went back to the Edge. Fortunately for Raven, it turned out NOT to be a blood clot, and I'm so thankful she's doing well now. Girl, don't scare us like that again. Who else am I going to make fun of Dena with?
I hung out at Edge for a few more hours, met some pretty cool people. Then I split, visited a friend back in Dupont, strutted my ass around in my Catholic Schoolboy costume and went back to Kiki's apartment, then went back home. Well... the next day...


Was Halloween itself. And yet somehow it just didn't FEEL like Halloween as much. Maybe with all the partying going on the night before or something I juts felt weird. And I didnt see as many trick-or-treaters this year either. So I tried getting myself in the mood by carving a pumpkin and roasting the seeds in the oven. I know, how Martha Stewart-esque. Except I havent been to prison...yet. (By the way, for my seed recipe, mix garlic salt, onion powder, Worchestershire sauce and kosher salt with the seeds. Bake for like 15-20 mins at 350 degrees.) And I didnt get any pumpkins stolen or smashed like I did last year by some little ghetto hoodlums when I lived in Logan Circle. I watched the original Halloween movie which is probably the only slasher movie I really like. Lit some black candles, and got dressed in my oh-so-politcally-incorrect costume and met Raven again , went to Kramer's and met up with my friend Chris and we went up to Cobalt DC to their Halloween party. I entered the costume contest, didnt win with all the competetion, but hey, you wouldn't BELIEVE all the attention from guys I got because of my costume. Somehow, it seems, I had tapped into a pretty commen fetish... actually a lot of the guys that came on to me were telling me they themselves had once attended a Catholic private school. Anyway, I stayed a lot later than I actually felt like staying, but I had lots of fun. Unfortunately my new black dress shoes I decided to wear with the costume were not broken in yet (and I always have trouble if my shoes sren't broken in yet) so my feet were absolutely KILLING me. I didnt realize how bad my feet were until I got home and took my shoes off. By this point I literally could barely walk. My feet were bleeding, and I have several nasty blisters. I know, attractive. All of my readers with foot-fetishes just left the room to puke. So today before I got to work I am trying to stay off my very sore feel as much as possible. But it's worth walking like a cripple today to have looked good this weekend.

Well boys and girls, that was about it. Feel free to post any of your experiences in the comments section! And now for your daily quiz (I didn't forgetttttt....)
So, I apparently am in Goth Denial. be the judge.

You're a Denial Goth! You are so not Goth. In
fact you're Post-Punk/Darkwave/Whatever
lesser-known synonym for goth is popular this
week. Give it up, it's obvious you're a Goth.

What kind of Goth would you be?
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