Monday, February 14, 2005

Valentine's Day'd


Me and PJ from the Photo booth... Valentine's Day Weekend 2005!


PJ goes for his Blonde Ambition Tour


And finally,


Dena in all her bling-blingin' glory wishes you a Happy Valentine's Day!!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Blog, Interrupted

Well it's funny. Yesterday, after finding out about what happened with Laura's blog, something similar happened to me.
Long story short... Laura's roommate read her blog, and wasn't too happy about her venting her stuff online for all to read. Well yesterday my ex calls me from his office. He too has somehow found out about my blog and is none too happy with the way he is portrayed. While I realize this is perfectly understandable to feel that way, this is MY blog and as my online diary it is my venue to vent my feelings. Yes, I realize dozens...dare I say more, people in DC and elsewhere read this blog. And I apologize if by mentioning him he felt hurt, but it's not like I'm making shit up. Just telling it from my perspective. Don't like it? Create your own counter-blog!
Ok seriously. I don't want to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it. I suppose henceforth I will either not mention certain people in a negative fashion...or I will make up fake names to protect the allegedly innocent.

And now a cute picture to make everyone feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I'm going to bed.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Happy Mardi Gras / Carnival

Tuesday is Mardi Gras...I was wondering about all those beads I was seeing on people! Where's "Boys Gone Wild" when we need it?
Anyway yesterday I went to Soho's "comedy night" with Raven, Eden (The Word-Vomit Queen), and Gayvid. Zach and Colleen showed up, both of whom I haven't seen in ages, especially since Colleen and Tom broke up. More on Tom later. Anyway the show was actually decent for once.
Tonight after work I caught a late dinner with Tom, since we'd been planning to meet up and hang out for a long time now. I don't see him much, especially since he's been avoiding certain places in Dupont. So I walked up 18th St. and met him in Adams Morgan and we walked around talking. We went searchng through the shops for a new pipe Tom wanted. I love the fact that the stores sell these special pipes and water bongs "for tobacco purposes only." Please. We all know what they are for, and sure as hell don't look like something for smokin tobacco. Actually I saw one I wanted, maybe I'll go back and get it. He found a nice red one, and happy with the purchase we went down the street and had dinner at this French bistro called L'Enfant.



The food was good, I had chicken and mushrooms in a Gruyere sauce and quiche. After dinner we walked to nearby Tryst for coffee and smokes. There was a good jazz band playing, and we talked about Socialism (our common interest) and other stuff. It was a nice evening, and I always love seeing him. It was a deliciously Spring-like evening, and so nice to walk around at night. I've missed that.
Oh, and tonight outside of Soho I also had a confrontation with Dena!! She was crossing the street coming out of Legends (this Greek hole-in-the-wall "restaurant") and she saw me and flicked me off! Unfortunately as she was doing this and jaywalking, she didn't see the car speeding down the street and she almost got run over, jumping to the curb, flailing about. I, of course, started laughing hysterically and she was screaming something at me. I just pinched my nose (this has become the universal way to piss Dena off) and she walked off still screaming something at me. Fabulous.

Well, thats been my last two days. Hmmm, well now I think I should respond to a post on PJ's blog. He says, to paraphrase, that in the old movies people seemed to be more romantic, o rather, that romance is a dying art. Maybe this is true. I'm not sure. Personally I think "romance" seems to be dying because modern life is too...well, existentialist. People are just too post-modern to accept the cliches of romance. I mean, look at the divorce rates, look at the number of unhappy people. Modern life had given us so much, yet we find ourselves more alienated and unhappy that in any other period in history.
Now, I'm not going to be like the nimrod conservatives and say we should go back to some golden yesteryear when everything was better. It wasn't. And the romance depicted in the black-and-white movies is just that: Hollywood fantasies. I'd wager to say people were just as unhappy than as now. The only difference was people pretended and went through the motions. People just don't feel that need anymore. I know, I've been in a dying romance before. I think the way things are today, while perhaps less romantic, are if anything more honest. People can't live for another person, one has to care for one's self first. And then, true love, if the feelings are there, will follow. I'm a somewhat romantic person myself, but I've also been tempered by harsh realities. Romance is great, but define romance anyway. I like the idea of sweeping a guy off his feet, and being swept off in return. And I try, PJ, I do.

Monday, February 07, 2005

SuperBlow Sunday

Well, it's been an interesting week! Let's see, I will change format and go day by day...So that brings us to..

Tuesday February 1st.
Well it was hard getting sleep after (as you'll note in my previous post) my little caffeine overdose of Monday night. It was almost as bad as Jesse Spano's little caffeine freak out on the infamous episode of Saved By The Bell! "I'm so excited! I'm so excited..." Where was PJ to provide his Zack-like intervention? Anyway, after work that evening I went to Mr X.'s apartment on 17th St. (witholding names per usual) because for some reason I felt sorry for him and couln't say no when he asked me to help him fix his computer. Yes, I KNOW this is the same dirty old man who molested me while offering me a job, but this time he behaved himself for the most part and didn't grope me a-la-Schwarzenegger too much. Just overly freindly bear hugs. Then I hung out with Raven and Gayvid at Soho per usual until it was late.

Wednesday February 2nd
I went to Old Navy before work to use this giftcard Bob gave me for Christmas that's been collecting dust. I'm not much of an Old Navy person, but I found some cool stuff, even if I had to dig through a lot of crap. Literally,I mean, the store looked like th Indonesian tsunami hit it! Clothes were all over the place. I've never seen anything like it, very unprofessional. Also, it was Groundhog Day (he predicted six more weeks of winter...) as well as Candlemas (for Catholics) and Imbolc (for Wiccans). [isn't February a fun month!] I hung out after again as usual...guess where? Could it be Soho?

Thursday February 3rd
I went to Don's house in Columbia Heights on 10th St. to check out this house he has. He's offered me a room there so cheaper than what I'd pay for an apartment in the city. I'm still undecided. I mean sharing a group house (although it is a very beautiful and historic house) and Columbia Heights is a so-so neighborhood. So I'm undecided. at any rate it was snowing again, very beautiful to see the snow in the city.
I returned to Soho to hang out with Mike, and I also saw Patrick, who I haven't seen in ages. For those of you who don't know him, he's a former philosphy professor at Georgetown, and a very intersting man indeed to converse with. I always appreciate his words of wisdom. I also found out that Mike is debuting at Secrets next Tuesday night. I'm not passing any judgement, I have been known to visit gay strip clubs...and if he can make good money, more power to him!



Friday February 4th
Because a teacher at my school had surgery this week, I foolishly volunteered to substitute her classes for her. So since I had to get up at the buttcrack of dawn on my so-called weekend, I refrained from partying Friday night. I had coffee (decaf) with Kurt and Rick, but Kurt went home early, leaving me and Rick to talk by ourselves. I'm getting to know him a lot better, he's a cool guy. Yeah that was about all I did! Always an adventure with me...

Saturday February 5th
I got to my class a little bit late because the fucking Red Line was running behind schedule due to track maintainance on the Metro (does anyone remember a time when the Red Line WASN'T having trouble?). But that class...which was 4 hours long (!) went by fast enough and I really liked the students and we had fun. After work, because it was such a nice spring-like day (in sharp contrast to earlier days) I went downtown and met up with Raven and Chris at...Soho. Raven brought along this Eritrean girl she met in Georgetown named Eden, who is a student at Georgetown. This girl officially wins the Lifetime Achievement Award for Worst Word Vomit Ever. Seriosuly, she seemed like a nice enough girl, but for two hours the bitch talked NON stop, I've never seen anything like it! After she finally had to leave we were all exhausted just listening to her and trying to keep up! I swear she needs a joint or a Xanax to slow her down! Seth also showed up that night, but I started feeling bad. I've had this weird persistant headache that has lasted all weekend, sometimes accompnanied by achiness. I hope it's not a brain tumor! (Just kidding, I shouldn't even joke about that!) SO I went home early and after watching Keeping Up Appearances and Are You Being Served? (I love British comedies) I went to bed.

Sunday February 6th
I got up hella-early and went to substitute teach again... Lo and behold that class had 20 students (I'm used to smaller groups) and was a level 1 beginner's class. Meaning they know NO English whatsoever. Meaning I had to rely on every bit of Spanish I could muster from the moldy corners of my mind.
It was a stressful day of teaching, but I got along great with the students, we had some fun conversations in Spanglish, and for our lunch break (it was another of those damn 4 hour class periods) we went over the Brazilian Market next door. God bless the Brazilians for their gift to the world, Guarana. In case you didn't know, this is the stuff that gives Red Bull it's kick. It's more potent than coffee...and they have a wonderful guarana soda that lifted my spirits...and probably my blood pressure but hey it got me through the day.
After work I went by Dupont on my way home and sat for a little while in the sun with Chris in the Circle, people watching and catching up, eating Brazilian cookies, and enjoying the sunshine. My whole body felt as if it was parched and thirsting for sunlight. But my head and body was still feeling funky so I went home. I wanted to see PJ this weekend, but with work, and this not feeling so hot, I just couldn't make the drive down to Richmond. Well, next week will be Valentine's Day!
Today was also SuperBlow, er Bowl Sunday. You know, I actually tried watching the game. Not because I actually like football, (though watching it does give me some Butch Points, right?) but rather for the cute guys in their uniforms. Ah, come on!

And now, your dessert: A new quiz!
You are a very material person. Admitt it, you couldn't live without those tedious things you buy everyday. Money is your best friend, and your looks are your persona. You know you may
Lisa Turtle...
You are a very material person. Admitt it, you
couldn't live without those tedious things you
buy everyday. Money is your best friend, and
your looks are your persona. You know you may
not be the cream of the crop... but your
confident aura never lets people think twice
about who they are talking to.


Which Saved By The Bell Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Bears, Wine, Insanity

It's been a whole week since my last post, I guess I just like to save up until interesting stuff happens. Well, this is my week in review. Thursday night I didn't have to work as late as usual, so I went with my friends Raven and her boyfriend Kevin to see "Are We There Yet?" starring Ice Cube at the theater in Georgetown. Note, it was the coldest night of the year in the city thus far, like 3 degrees or something rediculous, and it sure felt more like Moscow than Washington. So in order to make the last show, we ran down 19th street and caught the Blue Bus before it rolled away and took it to M Street and made the show just in time. It wasn't the funniest movie I've ever seen, in fact the kids in it were damn fucking annoying, but ti was good to spend time with friends. We went to the Barnes & Noble afterwards, and then waited for the bus to take us back to Dupont. It was running late and it was freezing, so we said "fuck it" and walked all the way back to Soho cafe.
[sidenote, I have had WAY too much caffeine right now and am feeling totally cracked out! It's been along time since I had this much coffee and I'm am extremely jittery.]
Well Saturday I went down to Richmond to finally see PJ after not seeing him for the longest time, so I was really excited. I met PJ at his house and we went with his friend Chris to Panera for dinner. It was sleeting, but it wasn't too bad. Go figure, when I got back here, I found that it had snowed 2 inches! Go figure!
So afterwards me and Pj went to Laura's house since I always love seeing her, and we heard she's been sick so we wanted to say hello. Poor Laura! I hope she's doing ok! More on that later... so we hung out and watched "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" which I found extremely intriguing, I'll have to rent it myself and watch it again. Because of the inclimate weather, Ian invited us to stay the night. I really appreciate it, Laura, by the way! Here's where things get interesting. I brought over a bottle of wine for us to enjoy (you know me and a good bottle of wine) and we didn't end up finishing it, so I put the rest in the fridge so Laura could have it later. Well, I come to find out that Ian finished it off and for laughs went to his car and blew in his breathalyzer (long story short- he has more DUIs than I have empty cigarette boxes, and had a breathalyzer in his car) and because of his little stunt he may have to go to jail. I of course feel horrible. I mean, I should've known better than to leave the bottle unwatched, what with an alcoholic in the house. God knows I have enough friends who are recovering alcolohics or drug addicts, and there are some things it's not kosher to do, like say, leave a temting substance in the house with them! But how was I to know he'd go and blow in his breathalyzer!? What an idiot! He's a sweet guy, but does he LIKE jail or something?! Anyways...
The next day me and PJ went to his work, and I got to meet his co-workers who were all very sweet. While we were there we made a teddy bear which we named "Christin...a" (to understand the inside joke go here) and wwe had a very nice dinner at Brio Tuscan Grille. The food was wonderful. Then we went back to Laura's, and i could totally tell her and Ian had been having some sort of argument before we showed up. I hope the bear made her feel a little better!! Unfortunately she seemed to get sicker that night, and I was afraid she'd have to go back to the hospital. Well, I also had to bring the car back to my family, so I had to drive back that night. It was hard saying goodbye to PJ. I like him alot...and we actually exchanged the imfamous "L word" and I don't mean lesbian. I think we crossed a threshhold last night. I can't tell the future, so I have no idea how things are going to go, but in the here-and-now I'm enjoying my time with him. We shall see where fate takes us. Of course I wished he was closer to DC, but then, I've also met some wonderful people in Richmond and made some new friends. (Contrary to popular belief around here, the world does not begin and end at the District of Columbia border!)
So that has been my week thus far. Now I'm just waiting for this jittery feeling to go away. And now a question that I'm sure is burning in all of our minds, if you were a deity, who would you be?
Hecate
Hecate


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
Hmmm.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Ex and the City

Today was an interesting day. Got my paycheck from work, and went to Soho afterwards. I forgot that Monday night is so-called "Comedy Night" which is a comic joke in itself. I understand amateur comics need a place to go and practice. But really, these rejects are some of the most unfunny bastards I've ever met. And most of them are suburban straight guys trying to crack straight guy jokes in a predominantly gay/lesbian urban coffeehouse. I swear one day as a joke I'm going to go in there with a track of crickets chirping, and play next time the "comics" recieve an awkward silence. My friend "Gayvid"/David was already thrown out once for heckling the "comics." Hell, HE was the only thing that made it funny!!
SOOO, I split before the show started and walked around Dupont Circle. Washington, and Dupont in particular is incredibly beautiful in the snow...


I swear, even despite some of the downsides of DC, Autumn and snowy nights are what makes up for everything, and makes living in DC so magical sometimes. Yes, the snow blanklets everything, even the used condoms, needles, toothless bums, transvestite hookers, Dena, and the other ugly things and somehow everything becomes so fairy-tale like.

Anyway as I was passing through the Circle, my ex called me out of the blue. Despite my better judgment I picked up the phone and he asked me to come over to his apartment to talk. Maybe it was delirium brought on by hypothermia or something, but I did.

When I got there he showed the film project he’s been doing. He has this new job making productions for private parties and business meetings. I always knew he could do it, I have to say he is incredibly talented, and this is the foot-in-the-door experience he needs. I wish him the best (I do, despite things I’ve said in previous posts). He gave me a belated Christmas gift he says he’s been meaning to give me, but he doesn’t see me that much these days. It was some glass Christmas ornaments, and a bottle of cologne from L’Occitaine from Provence. Very sweet of him, actually. Of course, all I gave him this year was a card for the holidays, and even that was generous. I hope he honestly doesn’t expect anything in return.
I didn’t actually stay that long, and ended up leaving to return home. I have to say, he was on his best behaviour tonight. But I'm not letting my guard down. But before I end this, I just wanted to add this weird ass dream I had last night!

Weird ass dream- 01/24/05

I was in the afterlife, which in this case (or so I was informed in the dream) was the Underworld. Don’t ask me how or why, but that’s where I was. And it really wasn’t all that bad. It’s wasn’t like how’d you’d picture Heaven or Hell…it actually looked more like Brooklyn! Which, to some, may be either Heaven or Hell! Anyway this old chain-smoking woman (who looked suspiciously like Dena) was giving me the grand tour of the city and we wound up at this old high-rise where she showed me my apartment I would be living in. In the middle of the living room was this giant banana tree. The lady told me, “The first two bunches pay for your rent. Anything after that you can keep for yourself.” She left me in my new apartment, and first, I watered the tree. Then this couple from next door came over to welcome me to the building...and to the afterlife. Then, I woke up… weird huh! I wonder what it all means? I’m sure Freud would have a field day with this one.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Snow Daze

What a weekend it's been. Actually because of the wether I didn't really do much. I went out Friday night to Dupont. Kurt and Bob wanted to hang out but they were being lame-o and just wanted to have coffee and talk as usual. Not to say that isn't all fine and good, but Kurt acts weird when I want to go clubbing. I mean, he sometimes comes out too, but he's very picky about where he wants to go, and he pretty much rules the situation (Let's go to Apex, Let's go to Omega) He's one of those people who gets stuck, er, comfortable, is his routines, habits, and hang-out places and doesn't like to deviate. I love spending time with him, but sometimes I have to draw the line and say I'm doing X with my other friends and if you want to come, fine, if not, see ya later. And I know Bob would probably branch out more too. Some friends are just like that. Don't get me wrong though, I love Kurt to death, he's one of my best friends, and he's there for me always. Nothing but love...
Well it snowed quite a bit this weekend, at least the most it has this winter. And it's been so pretty!!! I hope it doesn't melt too soon. Like tonight, it's the Full Moon, and the way the moonlight looks on the snow is really pretty. But alas, I the snow was a double-edges sword, for I couldn't drive to see PJ this weekend! But soon....
Anyway, I went sledding again with my brothers last night because there was no way I was going out, even though some friends did and said it really wasn't that bad. It was a fun day and I made frozen margaritas in the blender (my own, not the pre-made mixed shit!!). Today I mostly just hung around looking for ways to spend money online on shit I don't really need, wrote some more, and made dinner, which was a kick-ass success. Which brings us to this week's Recipe of the Week.
This one is Spanish... As in Spain, not Latin American or Mexican people. It's similar to a chicken paella. This goes really good with homemade Sangria.
Arroz Con Pollo (Rice and Chicken) Serves 4
Ingredients: 4 tbsp olive oil, 6 chicken thighs, 1 tsp paprika (I use more, and use Szegedy brand), 1 large Spanish onion roughly chopped, 2 garlic cloves finely chopped, 1 chorizo sausage sliced, 1 red bell and 1 yellow bell pepper seeded and roughly chopped, 1 generous cup paella rice washed and drained (I subst. with regular long grain), 2 large tomatoes seeded and chopped, 1/2 cup sherry, 3 cups chicken stock/broth, 1 tsp oregano and thyme, 1 bay leaf, salt.
-Heat the oil in a wide casserole. Season the chicken with salt and paprika. Fry until nicely brown, the reserve on a plate. Add the onion and garlic and fry gently until softens. Add the chorizo and stir-fry. Add the chopped peppers, cook until softened. Sprinkle in drained rice and cook, stirring, for 1-2 mins. Add the tomatoes, sherry, chicken stock/broth and dried herbs. Arrange the chicken pieces deep in the mixture and tuck in the bay leaf. Cover and cook over a very low heat for 30-40 mins until the chicken and rice are done. Done!

And yes, this quiz seems pretty dead-on. Coffee, cigarettes, red wine, reading Jean-Paul Sartre, general good taste. Why wasn't I born in Paris!!
You are French
You are a Parisian.


What's your Inner European?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Post-Modern Nihilistic Pity-Party

Oh what a depressingly dull week it's been. i wish I could say something cool has happened, but no not really. Other than hanging out with my friends I've been in this sort of existentialist funk of not knowing what to do. I know I've complained about this before, it's a recurring theme in my life. And if you don't feel like listening to me bitch and whine, consider this your disclaimer!***
Ok, so yeah. I just feel like I'm doing NOTHING of any great importance. I'm not being very creative as of late, I feel totally low on energy (perhaps this is related to Seasonal Affective Dissorder), and I feel like my days are just passing me by. It's like I don't know what to do and I feel paralyzed by everything that's going on. God, this is whiney, but hey it's my blog and I can get shit off my chest.
As much as I'm a self-proclaimed sun-child of the warmer climates (think California, Greece, etc.) I do like the winter, but only when it is truly cold and snowy. And today when I woke up after sleeping in a bit this morning, I opened my venetian blinds...
to see everything covered in snow! It really boosted my mood, albeit temporarily. (By the way to my friends, this blog isn't like a "cry for help" its just my nihilistic complaining, you understand if you've been around me long enough)

Well the snow has been fun. Didn't have to go to work. I went for a walk in the snow. I went sledding with my brothers (now THAT"S what makes Winter for me!) and had coffee with Kurt. Actually the main roads weren't that bad, but the side streets were, but I didn't slide too much.
I think I'm spent on my pity-party. Well I've started writing again somewhat. After a hiatus from anything remotely creative, I've felt a spark. Perhaps it's one of the great ironies that times like this are the ones when I produce the most. Go figure. In the meantime, if you are a fellow writer and looking for some pointers on that great novel you have stewing in your brain, may I direct you to How to Write a Suckitudinous Novel. Pretty funny stuff.
modbrits
You are a Mod. Yeah baby.


What kind of Sixties Person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Monday, January 17, 2005

Living in Oblivion

Well kiddies, what has Adam been up to lately? Let's see. Friday night I hung out with Kurt, Bob, Maurice, Teresa, and "straight" Rick. Yeah somehow time flew that night I it was already the A.M before we realized it. Saturday morning I slept in and then headed to Dupont, with the intent of maybe walking over to Georgetown to do some shopping or whatever. Let me tell you the weather is so WEIRD. Earlier this week it was like spring, but Saturday was one of the coldest evenings in the city yet! Yet somehow it was a beautiful day.

I simply walked by Soho and saw some people I hadn't seen...funny how that happend whenever I walk by that place. It's like it finds a way to suck me in. Steve A.K.A. "Storyteller" was there with his new Italian boyfriend Michael and we walked around, had coffee. Then we had dinner at Cosi (I had the tandoori chicken) with two of Michael's friends from Maryland. They were downtown for DC's Leather Weekend.
And I was wondering why I saw all the leather people walking around! For those of you who don't know, every year DC hosts the Mid Atlantic Leather Weekend, which is pretty self explanatory. I actually got invited to go to some leather club, but I declined. Nothing to wear! Even though the Leather Rack is having some sales I hear. Better hurrry people!
I went to a few places and later I was back at Soho hanging out with David/"Gayvid" (faaabulous), Raven, Monte, and some other assorted characters. As with the night before it was like way in the A.M before I realized it. I was going to go to Cobalt, but they were practically closing by that point. Where does time go?
Sunday I hung out with Kurt and Bob and we went to play pool. Later we went for coffee, and Bob's boyfriend Ken was coming, but him and Bob were having some personal drama, so me and Kurt tried to stay out of it. The funny thing is later that night me and Kurt got bored so we went back to the same place, and Bob and Ken were STILL there how many hours later having their talk. So me and Kurt had some long philosophical conversation that lasted for hours by ourselves. Coffee and cigarettes. I tell you.
I've been feeling kinda low on energy this weekend, but it did feel good to go out Saturday night. Unfortunately PJ was very busy this weekend with work etc. Oh well =( But I also got news that my friend Bianca will be coming from Portland to visit me in May, so that's exciting! And that's my Weekend in Review! Stay tuned...

Saturday, January 15, 2005

'Weirded Out!"

Ok, I'll make this quick. Today while rambling across the internet (no I wasn't looking for porn), well I ran across gay porn anyway. You know how those damn Google searches are. WELL...to my surprise I stumbled across a picture of someone I know. I will leave out names, but it is a friend of mine who apparently has been doing a little porn on the side.
I won't pass any judgements. Actually his pictures were pretty impressive. It's just funny what a small world we live in. You KNOW you hang around too many gay people when you randomly see some guy on an internet porn site and say "Hey, I KNOW that guy!"
And now your quiz of the day:
HASH(0x891efd0)
You're "So and So". You love going out on
dates, classy outfits, and tanning beds (just
don't get burnt... or dead). Isn't it cold in
Cheerleader's shadow?


Which Member of Teen Girl Squad are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

"It's Just Another Day"/ Eat, Drink and be Merry

You get crazy bonus points with me if you know what 80's song the first half of today's title derives from. Well for me it has been just another day. The same old routine, yet for some reason I just felt kind of weary in my bones. Like there's a need for some greater purpose and creativity in my life, but I'm stuck in a weird limbo where nothign has yet come into fruition, or rather, there is no action I can take.

Let's see... tomorrow is my friend Maurice's birthday. Happy Birthday Maurice! Hmm, in other news in my ESL night classes I am starting a new session, with some of my favorite students from the previous class, as well as some new ones. This looks to be an exciting new class!
I also got an invitation from a friend to attend one of the local Socialist party meetings he goes to. Now, those of you who know me know I am an extremely political person. In my opinion, as empowered citizens of our society it would be self-indulgent NOT to be active in politics. After all people, it is YOUR lives and futures being decided for you. And without getting on my Marxist soapbox, I don't appreciate having the decsions that affect the working class made by upper-class bourgeois politicians. Even the rich ones that pander to the lower classes (John Kerry, for example) Of course I voted for Kerry because he was lesser of two evils, but I'm talking about principles here. Anyway, I'm interested in going, except I'm not sure if this meeting is for the American Socialist Party or the Communist Party of the United States. May sound like splitting hairs to some people, but there are subtle differences. It would be like saying the Republicans and the Democrats are the same. Of course, even the words "socialism" and "communism" scare or turn-off people because we've been raised to feel that way. But if you ask the average person onthe street to define exactly what socialism and communism are...you tend to get blank stares and answers like "Uh, I don't know dude, like bad and oppressive and stuff." Well, if you want to know, I won't waste anymore time trying to explain them, just read up about Karl Marx and find out for yourself.

Ok, normally I don't get all "serious" on you guys like that!. So now I figured I'd do something a little different today and start merging one of my hobbies (cooking) with my blog. So each week I am going to have my Recipe of the Week, tried and tested in Adam's Kitchen. I know! How very Martha Stewart of me!

This week's recipe comes from my French cookbook by Carole Clements and Elizabeht Wolf-Cohen. (The book is published in the UK, but some places sell it online, one of my best cookbooks). Anyway it's actually very simple, but impresses everyone who's tasted it. Also note I've made a few changes based on my experiences to the instructions. I present...
Cotes de Porc Sauce Nenette
(basically Pork Chops in a rich sauce...but you can subst. with veal or chicken if you wish)
Serves 4
1 tbsp butter, 1 tbsp olive oil, 4 large pork chops 1-inch thick, salt anf fresh ground pepper, 4 tbsp white wine, 1/2 tsp dried thyme, 1 cup heavy cream, 1 tsp tomato paste, 1 tbsp dijon mustard, 1 tomato peeled seeded and chopped, 1 tbsp chopped fresh tarragon or parsley. Reccomended serving with French style potato cakes (I serve with rice pilaf)
-Melt butter with the oil in a lagre heavy frying pan over high heat. Season the pork with salt and pepper, then add to pan and reduce heat to medium-high. Cook for 2-3 mins on each side (may take longer...it always does for me) and then transfer to a plate and pour off fat. Add the wine and thyme to the pan and bring to a boil. Add the cream, dijon mustard and tomato paste and simmer for 2 mins, stirring frequently, then return the pork chops to the sauce and cook for 4-5 minutes over med-low heat. Add the chopped tomato and herbs, and cook for one more minute.
And that's it!
Goes best with a white wine, in my opinion. I like my wines very sweet, like Rieslings and other Rhine Valley wines. But many people like their white wines sweet, so you be the judge. And that's another thing about me. I LOVE wine. I used to think people into wine were pretentious and snobby. But I have come to learn a good wine can be...well, orgasmic. Perhaps in future posts I will review some wines I've had (believe me, I cook and have wine with meals a lot). Is this blog getting too stuffy or what! Lol. Well, Ok. I will leave you with a short list of some wines I've had over the holidays that were memorable.

Chianti by Piccini- I figured, hey, an Italian imported Chianti has got to be good right? Wrong. Dont waste your money on this one folks. Avoid the tacky orange bottle!!!
Kindzmarauli from Georgia.- Not the U.S. state Georgia, the country Georgia on the Black Sea! Their wines have an exotic reputation, and well deserved. I never had a Georgian wine I didn't like. I reccomend this one highly!
Louis Jadot Beaujolais- Reasonably priced and very good. I liked it.

Well those are the only ones that stand out in my head right now. More fun stuff to come!

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Soooo Good!

It's been a long crazy weekend, so let me think back over all that's happened. Hmm well I'll start with Saturday, but first this public service announcement:

1986
1986. The year that Australian exports in the form
of Paul Hogan were hot. Then you had Anthony
Edwards, Val Kilmer, and Tom Cruise flying
around everywhere. What?


What year in the 80's do you really belong in?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ok so saturday I brought PJ with me and we went to dinner at this place of 17th street called Dupont Italian Kitchen (or DIK, snicker snicker) which I really love. The food was excellent, and afterwards we went to my friends Jayme and Jen's house for a party they were throwing.

There were a ton of people there, too many to try and name. Anyway the party was a lot of fun, I got fabulously drunk, PJ had a good time too. Some other things happened that night later on, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to write about that here...maybe later I will come back to it. If you were at the party you might already be able to guess. Oh dear..."Three's Company.".



The next day we slept in very late. I had a nasty headache, and it seemed Jayme and Jen were a little hung over as well. As usual, they have the most extensive collection of alcohol I've seen in anyone's house... it's a regular liquor store. And to see the aftermath of a party, all those hundreds of bottles...I offered to help them clean up, because I don't envy anyone who has to clean that house after that. Anyway me and PJ got food and drove back to Richmond, making it in time for PJ to make me to this comedy club there called The Richmond Funny Bone. We had dinner and I had a few Long Islands as we watched Bobby Slayton who was the stand-up comic that night.
Oh my god was he funny! He kept ripping on people in the audience expecially, people who deserved it. I liked the club as a whole, I'd like to go back. After the club, we went to Laura and Ian's apartment to pay them a late night surprise visit. Actually we ended up haning out all night, going for food at Friday's (served by a cute waiter) and watching Catwoman with Halle Berry. And somehow that night I also managed to pop my bad knee out again...this is like the 3rd time I've done that! It hurts like hell, but fortunately doesn't last long one you move it back into place and walk around. But still rather embarrasing.

(Teen Girl Squad comics on Homestarrunner.com)
The next day we slept in again, and as a result I had to kind of leave in haste so I could make it back here in time to get ready for work. Yeah that's been about it this weekend. Be back laer with more fun...

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

"Panic in the Streets of London.."

Well, I have seriously considered going back to London sometime in the near future. I know I should continue saving my money but DAMNIT it is so tempting. I swear I am growing weary of this country. Of course, it would be nice toleave permanently. (Oh, Canada...) The more I read the news and hear how the Nationalist/Fascist party is trampling our civil liberties, our neighbor to the Great White North, or our neighbors on the other side of the pond start looking more appealing. In my darker moments, the things I see are so reminiscent of Germany in the 1930s. The people of the so-called Red States are not my friends or fellow citizens. There are two Americas apparently, and I don't WANT to be a part of th America envisioned by the Republican party. Or the rednecks and conservatives who put the Fascists in power again.


Well anyway, long story short, I will be hopefully visiting the UK again soon. In the meantime here's my New Years Resolution.


In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Stop smoking pot by taking up crack instead.

Get your resolution here




Let's see, not muchis going on elsewhere so I'll just ramble. I finished reading Carson McCuller's The Heart is a Lonely Hunter which is an amazing novel that takes place in the South in the 1930s. Not the feel-good-read-of-the-summer by any means. It deals with the lonliness and isolation of certain characters in a small town where they don't seem to fit in. I highly reccomend it, and many consider McCuller one the great writers of the American South.

Well I gotta run for now...more to come later

Monday, January 03, 2005

"Nothing Changes on New Years Day"

Welcome to 2005 and Happy New Year!
Well, it certainly has been an interesting week. After Christmas my bronchitis peaked at it's worse, and has now all but virtually healed. One of my New Years resolution, because of this lingering cough, was to quite smoking altogether. Naive, yes. But to my credit I've only smoked a few cigarettes so I'm not chain-smokign anymor. I've cut back considerably. I just think trying to quit altogether was a bad idea. These things take time.
And now for your first quiz of 2005:
kilt
You are 100% Scottish, and damn proud of it! As
well you should be. You have a love for the
more simple things in life, and don't like it
when someone treds on your territory. You have
plenty of attitude, and don't mind sharing it
with others. If they don't like it, they can
piss off!


How Scottish Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

So what has happened over my New Years Eve?

Well Friday (Dec 31st) I drove down to meet PJ in Richmond. We had dinner and wound up driving all the way back into DC because all of my friends were out partying. It's New Years, so of course I wanted to have fun. You see, New Years hold even more special meaning for me since it's the anniversary of an auto accident on NYE 2000 that damn near killed me. So it's a Happy-New-Year-I'm-Still-Living celebration.

We got downtown and it took forever to find a place to park in Dupont Circle. So when we finally did, (thank-you Parking Gods) we met Kurt, Maurice, and Elizabeth at Omega, but went over to the much more happening Apex (or as some of us remember it by its old name Badlands) to ring in the New Year. The place was the most packed I've seen it, and I've seen that place packed. This was crazy though. Midnight came, and I think most of us wound up getting champagne and beer spilled on us, or molested by strangers dancing around us. Poor Kurt got soaked with someones beer and he wanted to split, so we went back to Omega. PJ and I were getting tipsy on Blue Motorcycles and stuff. Later on after much bad behavior (ha ha) Kurt and the others drove home and me and PJ went to Soho to sober up. Then we went upstairs to my friend Chris's apartment. He was nice enough to let us crash (thank-you Chris!). Henry and his boyfriend Franklin were there, as was Chris's sister Marcy. We smoked a bowl and hung out for awhile, and I think around 4am we crashed.
The next morning we woke up and had to get ready really fast because Chris's boyfriend Ben was coming over with two friends of his from Jersey and we all went out to brunch. We went to Luna Grill (the one on Connecticut, not the Cafe Luna on P &17th that I always confuse it with). I'm telling you, it was a beautiful day. It felt like Spring outside, like the first day of April rather than January. Such freaky weather changes we have around here! Global Warming?
Anyway after a satisfying first meal of 2005, we bid farewell to Chris and the others and took a stroll through Dupont Circle, visiting Kramerbooks and cafe, record shops, and Lambda Rising. Then we dallied a bit at Soho again before it was time to take PJ back to Richmond. The drive went well, namely because of PJ's killer selection of dance and techno music to listen to. I wish I couldv'e stayed once I dropped him off, but my folks were also expecting me for dinner to, so I drove all the way back here and made it just as they were finished. But the food was still ok, and after such a long past few days I didn't go out, but rather wound up passing out while reading Storm Constantine's latest novel The Shades of Time and Memory.
Yesterday I was supposed to go back to Richmond for a party I was invited to, but I honestly felt tired yesterday and not up to the drive. But I will see PJ again this weekend. The only other thing I did yesterday was go to coffee with Kurt, Bob, Maurice, Rick, and Elizabeth, and we went shoe-shopping at DSW. I almost bought a pair of Diesel shoes I liked, but I hestated because I wasn't too sure of the colors. Well yeah, that's been my first few days of the new year. Today too, it is strangely warm and spring-like. I'm sitting outside wearing a t-shirt in the sun. Maybe I'm superstitious, but I believe the way you enter a New Year is a portent for how the rest of the year will be. NYE 2004 sucked ass. So I think that since I had such a good NYE 2005, that this year will be better than the last!
PS- Check out PJ's new blog!

Saturday, December 25, 2004

I Wish I Had a River...I Could Skate Away On...

Subtitle: Nut-cracker Sweet!

gaychristmas

Well, it’s Christmas Day, and I could be better. You see, I think I may have bronchitis. Of course, I don’t know because I’m too scared to go to the doctor, but I’ve been hacking up my lungs for almost a week now. But I think I am slowly getting better. Really.
So last night I met some friends and we did a gift exchange. Then I had dinner with the family and over-indulged on wine, etc. Started to watch Santa Claus The Movie, which I hadn’t seen since I was like 5 or something. But then I passed out in my room an hour later. But at some point in the night my coughing got worse. I woke up feeling shitty and couldn’t get back to sleep. So I watched part of the Pope presiding over midnight mass in the Vatican, the whole transubstantiation bullshit (hey it was the a.m. hours of Christmas, not much on tv) You’ll think I’m a dork, but I actually was hoping to see“The Nutcracker Suite.” I like the story! But I wound up watching the movie “Swimfan.” Ooohhh. Jesse Bradford. I think Chris Carrabba has come competition for Adam’s Celebrity Crush. It was a nice movie. Ok , the plot sucked, but hey, when you can’t sleep, it’s nice to see a movie full of young men in speedos. As the two gay film reviewers on “In Living Color” used to say, “It gets three snaps!” Snap, snap snap!

jessebradford
Jesse Bradford
chriscarrabba
Chris Carrabba
I did drift off for a few hours, only to woken at 8 to go downstairs for the present-opening ritual.
I’ll just cut to the chase and list Adam’s Christmas Booty from both family & friends:
A fat check from my parents (they didn’t know what else to get me), along with an electric razor, and a digital camcorder! I got a bunch of colorful cookbooks (I collect them, cooking is one of my little hobbies), a giftcard to Old Navy (thanks Bob), a bottle of wine, candy, a backgammon set, Acqua Di Gio (my favorite cologne), CDs by Gwen Stefani, Ciara, Kill Bill on DVD (thanks Kurt) and a stuffed animal and other stuff(thanks PJ).
On a side note I did have this weird dream this morning that Casey, my ex, was breaking into my house to kill me. He was coming up the stairs with a crowbar in his hand, dressed in all black wearing a ski-mask like burglars in the movies. Weird. So I started looking online for dream interpretations and such, and came across Slow Wave. It’s a website where this guy takes people’s real weird dreams, and makes them into a comic book.

Well that's about all I have to say for now... have a Merry ChrismaHanuKwanzukah!

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Yule be Sorry...

Well happy Winter Solstice/Yule to all, today is the first official day of Winter in the Northern Hemisphere! It snowed quite a bit night before last, and I feel very much in the spirit. Actually, I just got a check of Christmas money from my family, so I definately am in a better mood.



Hmmm there's been so much going on in my life lately I don't know where to begin. Hmmm, well if you are bored, go visit my friend Kiki's livejournal. You know, I almost started an account with Livejournal but I'm not sure I liked it as much as Blogger.

Let's see...well I got really upset friday night while attending a Guerilla Queer Bar invasion. For those of you unfamiliar with the concept, it's basically a bunch of gay people "invading" a predominantly straight bar. Normally lots of fun. I missed the last two sadly, but I made an effort to come to this one...until...

The ex. Yes, he came, and even though his sorry ass showed up for all of four seconds and then left, it was enough to ruin my evening completely. I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM IHATEHIMMMMMMMM!!!!
I really wish he'd just stay the fuck out of my life completely! Or better yet go step in front of an oncoming metrobus.

Fortunately this weekend I also learned that the antics and misbehaviors of my Neaderthal ex should not bother me so much. After all, I had a good time with my real and true friends, I have my family, and I have a guy I'm becomming romantically involved with. So basically I can do without enemies or people trying to ruin my good time. Incidentally, among my gifts at the gift-exchange I did with my friends, I got Kill Bill (one of the movies I am obsessed with!), the new CD by Gwen Stefani (which totally kicks ass), and the new CD by Ciara.

Well, the week is far from over, I'll keep you posted on how the holidays go for me. And if you want to get me something, feel free... like, say, maybe Chris Carrabba with a big bow under my Yule tree?
Speaking of which, have you noticed his new emo/hipster haircut. I think I'm partial to his old look, but you be the judge...
Before:

After:

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Rhombused in Richmond

subtitle: I’m so excited, I’m so excited!

bear
"Hello! Anyone home?"

I was just pondering how the days have gotten so short…the Winter Solstice is only a week away. Man, it seems like just yesterday it was the long hazy days of midsummer. Time seems to go so fast sometimes! I don’t know if that’s necessarily a good thing, either.
Well, what happened this weekend? My friend Kurt picked me up on Saturday morning (yes, early Saturday morning) and we decided to do some more early shopping. Damn, I’m starting to sound like a suburban soccer-mom, getting all excited over early morning holiday shop-a-thons! Hold on, gotta get the brownies out of the oven. Ok seriously, so we went all the way out to Manassas Mall. Why, I’m not sure. But a town that has the words “Man” and “Ass” in its name has got to be good…or so one would think. The mall sucked and I didn’t get a whole lot, but it was fun hanging out with Kurt. Afterwards I went home, and got ready to drive down to Richmond and meet PJ at his work.
I made it in decent time, despite getting lost at one point. We shared a cup of bubble tea, and went back to his place. We exchanged ChrismaHannuKwaanzikah gifts. It turns out he already owned the two things I bought him, so we exchanged them, got something to eat and went to his friend Laura’s place. It was nice meeting her, and despite the drama she was having that night with her boyfriend (another story altogether) we went to a bar/club in downtown Richmond.
Getting Rhombused with the Santas:
This is where it starts to get surreal. So the place was called Tiki Bob’s. For reasons I never did learn, it was men-dress-as-Santa-Claus night, I suppose. Now, keep in mind I haven’t been in a bar with that many straight people (or white people) in a long time. I mean common, DC is largely racially mixed and I go to the clubs in the gay-bourhood. But even worse, seeing 1,000 heterosexual Santas trying to dance to hip-hop while scantily clad bimbos danced on stage. I guess if I were straight I’d like that kinda stuff?
Which got me onto another surreal thought: as I stood there watching all of this, I wondered, “Would this be me and my friends if we were all straight and there was no such thing as being gay?”
Then, I tried thinking of certain gay people I know, and what they would look like, how they would dress, etc. if they’d been born straight. I tried imagining my gay male friends lusting after pussy! It was quite funny, let me tell you.
On the way home, being very stupid in Laura’s car, we came up with the phrase “rhombused.” As in the shape rhombus (remember from geometry class?). I can’t even remember how we got to that joke, but when we did, it seemed really funny at the time. Guess you had to be there. So, dictionary people, let me present to you a new entry for your 2005 dictionaries of the English language.
Rhombused – (verb) See also beat, dissed, insulted, outdone. Example: “You just got rhombused, girl!”
Ah, the weird inside jokes inspired by alcohol.
The next day while sleeping in, we watched on of PJ's favorite shows, "Saved By The Bell." My favorite was the episode "Jessie's Song" in which Jessie get's hooked on caffeine pills in order to study and do shitty music with the other girls. She winds up having a bad trip and singing the Pointer Sister's "I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so...scared!" Truly racy stuff for the times, I suppose.
Later, PJ took me to Carytown, a section of Richmond that is quite interesting and reminds me a bit of Dupont Circle. We had brunch at the Galaxy Diner and walked around and perused all the neat little shops. By late that afternoon I had to return home, so sadly I had to leave.

Blue Ring Octopus
BLUE RING OCTOPUS
You are DANGEROUS! The blue ring octopus has a
venom that paralyzes its victim. Even though
the victim can still think clearly, it cannot
move or speak. You live near Australia, and
even though you are very good looking, just
like a James Bond villain, you are quite
deadly.


Which Cephlapod Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

So let’s see, that brings us to Monday. Before going to work I was hanging out at Soho after having pad thai at Hunan Dynasty (P & 21st St.) and met this guy who I’ve met before (as usual I’m avoiding names to protect the innocent) and he offered me a PR job for a large non-profit group he directs (again, the importance of not naming names). Long story short, after work, he called me and invited me to his apartment over on 17th St.
Well, I should’ve seen it coming. He’s an older gentleman…ok, he’s 60. He made me a cup of jasmine tea and started discussing the job and all that stuff. Then he tells me I’m very attractive. Then he’s sitting next to me in the couch. Then his hands are on me. Next thing I know he’s pulling me on top of him and grabbing me.
Now, trying to be as professional, polite, and understanding as I could be, I told him I felt uncomfortable and wanted to leave. He apologized, but I was still really creeped out by the whole thing. I don’t know what I’m going to do. He still wants me to take this job, but I really don’t know. It sounds good, but I’d have a chickenhawk for a boss. WHY!
Last night, walking away from his apartment, it was SO cold and windy. Tonight was cold too. And more drama!
On the way to work the train cars I was riding on to work on the red-line of the Metro broke down. All passengers had to get off and wait in the freezing cold (it was an above-ground station) until the train could be moved and a new train came to pick us up. I was late for work, but no big deal. But damn, the Metro can be such a pain sometimes.
When I got off work tonight, there was the first snow of the season. I love snow, what more can I say? It didn’t snow much, but it’s so pretty. And that has been my week in review.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Thursday, December 09, 2004

(Insert Smartass Titile Here)

It's a rainy Thursday evening, and I'm sitting in the relatively empty Soho Tea & Coffee killing time before I have to teach my night class. Hmmm, not much new here to report since my last emo-tional gripe, er, post.

And now: I've been telling people this for years. And now I have the quiz results to prove it!

suave
You Are The Suave Gay Man


What Type Of Gay Man Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

A Long December...

I can’t believe I’m even titling this post “A Long December,” considering that I’m only 5 days into the Holiday month.
And I’m hating it already. It’s been a bad week.
God, I don’t even want to start, but let’s just say the stars haven’t exactly been kind to me. Do you ever have one of those weeks where everything that can go wrong does? Well it’s been a shitty week and I don’t know of things are getting better or not. But man I HATE DECEMBER! Die holidays die!
Like today, for example, I went and visited the most tackily decorated house in all of Northern Virginia, just for kicks. The place is covered in Christmas lights, glowing manger scenes, etc. So much so it’s been covered in the newspapers pretty much every year around this time. If you want directions, e-mail me. In the meantime, visit this website to see more terribly decorated homes. And I ask myself, what IS it about December that inspires such stupidity in people.
Ok, I have to confess. I have been forcibly trying to induce some Yuletide spirit into my life.
My friend Kurt has been kind enough to chauffeur me around this weekend and we did a little Christmas shopping. I’m glad I was able to get a start, but I still have some people left that I am really not sure what to get. I’m really trying to be a good gift-giver this year, since I’ve been pretty unoriginal in the past. And tonight while watching “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas” I started the tedious job of filling out holiday cards to mail to people. Only got halfway done before I gave up for the night…too many cards, too much envelope glue on my tongue. But the whole thing kinda got me in the mood.
Deck the Halls
You are 'Deck the Halls'! Let's be honest, it
isn't Christmas you are celebrating, is it? In
fact, you know full well that there were no
shepherds in the fields in December, and that
the date of Christmas was put at midwinter
specifically to coincide with the older
celebrations of Yule and the birth of Mithras.
An unashamed Pagan, you take great glee in the
number of carols referring to holly, evergreens
and Winter's end, and will sing them with
gusto. You know where they really came from.
And you do enjoy the seasonal celebrations,
regardless of their name... A merry Yule to
you!


What Christmas Carol are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Bitching about the year:
Now that December is here, I can start to reflect on 2004 as a whole. I’m not trying to be a pessimist (I’ve had really good years), but this year as a whole has pretty much sucked ass. Let’s review:
I entered into 2004 at a sucky party in Columbia Heights (won’t mention any names, but it was someone’s apartment near 14th street), in a really shitty situation. I was still living with Hitler, er, I mean my ex (again, I’ll refrain from using names). The low-life scumbag asshole ugly lying motherfucker was cheating on me with some equally low-life busted-looking bucktoothed redneck. He had, I came to realize, used me. Plain and simply used me. He ruined that entire Christmas and New Years. I can honestly say that was one of the worst times in my life. Thank-you Casey. Woops, said I wouldn’t mention any names but I did. Asshole. I hope this Christmas is as bad for you as mine was for me last year. (And perhaps the reader is beginning to understand part of why I hate Christmas)
After dealing with him (and I’m STILL dealing with him as he owes me money and keeps telling me he loves me even though he has a new boyfriend and won’t leave me the hell alone and stop lying all the time) I did start dating other guys, NICE guys, and that was one bright point to this year.
Nothing quite worked out the way I wanted it to this year. I spent the better part of the summer unemployed yet searching for a job. I did have fun with my friends a lot this summer (going to the clubs, a trip to Rehoboth) but I also always had to watch my money and worry about getting a job. Fall came, wasn’t able to go to grad school as I’d planned even though I did get accepted into George Washington and American University. Long story short, I fucked up my financial aid shit because I didn’t know what I was doing, my parents weren’t being much help at all, and neither was my ex about paying what he owes me on time. I did get a job, so that’s good. I work, I party, but all in all it’s been a pretty blah year. One final highlight, however, was meeting PJ this fall and getting to meet him last month. I have to admit to being more than a little commitment-phobic, given my last experiences. I mean, I think it’s great having a guy in your life. Relationships, especially at the beginning “getting to know you” stage can be really fun. But sometimes I feel like what’s the point of putting all that energy into a relationship when you get shat on by the other person in the end? Well, one thing I have learned is not to be loving to the point of stupidity like I was with Casey. I.e., never “help” your lover out financially, not matter what! You will wind up sorry for it in the long run. Never go along with what your lover wants to do, because you will feel bad about all the time you wasted. My ex was a stay-at-home person; at least he never would go out with me. Not to clubs, not to bars, not to restaurants, nothing (except maybe Soho, and he’d usually either ignore me or go off with someone else like he did that one time with Anthony). He made me feel bad for wanting to be with my much-more-exciting friends. I hate to think about what I missed out on because of him. I also learned not to trust someone too much, because you set yourself up. All the times Casey lied to me, and I pretty much let him. I let him walk all over me like a doormat. He fucked around behind my back, and how pathetic is it that I actually tried to “make it work” rather than just leave his no-good ass and walk away with some dignity. He was one of the most self-absorbed, narcissistic, controlling, and manipulative individuals I have ever met, and for some reason I loved him. Well, at first I loved him. In retrospect, my love sort of faded and transformed into something else. Whatever it was, it wasn’t love.
Alright, now it seems I’ve gotten off on a tangent about the ex, but this really feels therapeutic to get all the anger off my chest. I would tell my ex to his face, but he never really listens. Narcissistic people tend not to. I could create a whole blog about my experiences in that disastrous relationship. But I had to get these things off my chest because they are part of what is making this December so shitty for me. A year has passed, and yet the ghosts of the past are still very much alive.
Yet, I have found someone that interests me, that I can tell is a NICE guy. I have all of my friends that stuck by me this year through all the drama. So maybe everything will be all right after all.
“It’s been a long December, and there’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last. Can’t remember all the times I tried to tell myself to hold onto these moments as they pass…”
–“Long December” by the Counting Crows.