Why didn't someone tell me about this while there was still time to pull a Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate and stop this travesty, I mean "wedding," from happening!
My crush in the UK, the British equivalent of my Anderson Cooper obsession, former London chief of police Brian Paddick got married. He eloped to Norway with some nobody and to rub it in my face, wrote about it!
Is that how you do me, Brian? I have to find out about these lies in The Daily Mail of all places! Fine, I see how it is, next time you see me in London I'll be holding hands with that Vladimir guy.