Win a Date With Adam Scandalous!

You know... everything else is going great in my life...all the major and minor drama has pretty much passed. But it seems I'm always getting involved with guys who seem right at first, and then...
and it's not like I WANT to be in relationships all the time...they just sort of happen, even when I just want a fuck-buddy.
So, to help me weed out potential co-dependents, psychos, Mr. Wrongs, and general losers, I have created the Adam Scandalous Dating Questionaire.
(feel free to print out and make copies for your friends) Fill one out today, and win a date with me!*
*subject to terms and conditions, open to legal residents of the 50 states and DC, must be 18 years of age or older, and have the maturity to match.

First:
*Have you ever been convicted of a felony and/or incarcerated? If so, PLEASE explain. I can't wait to hear...
*Have you ever been in a psychiatric facility? On meds? Do you have "issues?" Again, please explain.
*Have you been/are currently addicted to any narcotics. AA member?
*Please note Adam is NOT currently interested in "helping" you become something, completing you, or emotionally/finacially supporting you in any way.
*If you answered yes to any of these questions, consider yourself pretty much disqualified.
Now, the fun part:
What Adam is looking for

*Guys that are not from Louisiana or Quebec. No. Hands down, no. Nyet. Nein. Non.
*Guys that act their age.
*Guys that are out of the closet to their family and friends and co-workers. No, I am SICK of being anyone's "good friend."
*Guys that aren't afraid of Public Displays of Affection, especially in our own gay ghettos like Dupont.
*Guys that have managed to move out of mommy and daddy's basement in the suburbs.
*Guys who HATE Bjork
*Guys who have ambition
*Guys who take general care of their bodies...this includes certain grooming techniques...nobody should have to floss after oral sex.
*Guys who aren't cheapskates.
*Guys who can appreciate nightlife.
*Guys that are relatively punctual.
*Guys that like my friends, and whose friends like me (yes, I KNOW that one is asking a lot)
*Guys that aren't afraid to get dirty.
*Guys that like Thai food. And restaurants in general.
*Guys that like British comedies.
*Guys that HATE the Golden Girls (it's a long story...have an ex that was obsessed with that show...I could die a happy man without ever seeing that show again)
*Guys that like Universal Gear.
*Guys that aren't afraid to go in the Leather Rack.
*Guys that do NOT live in Logan Circle (again, long story)
*Guys that can be spontaneous in all situations.
*Guys that prefer tea to coffee.
*Guys that go to the gym.
*Guys that are NOT work-a-holics

-alright, I think I've exhausted my list for now. If you think you apply to most of the above, hit me up. I'm not bitter...no, me, never!