The Countdown Begins...

I have to admit, as I've posted before, I'm a little aprehensive about moving in with Sean, especially now that today marks a month until we move in together. It's refreshing, in its own weird way, to know that he feels the same way too. It's a scary thing. We considered the need for more time, which I am still open to (of course I need some definitive decision because there is planning that has to be done!). But as of today we are still moving forward.

It will be such an adjustment, I know, for both of us. I got a little sad, in fact, hanging out with some friends last night. I was wondering how living with Sean will affect my social life and other things. He promises me nothing will have to change, but I wonder.

April Showers Bring...

Some February/March Photos

Above: open kitchen at Ping Pong in Chinatown, Sharkey in the DJ booth at Saint-Ex, me at the Asian art museum, P at Town

Lady Gaga - Telephone

Spring Awakening

I've had a nice last couple of weekends. Even work wasn't that painful with my boss being out of the office all week. The weather's gotten warm, and I've been going out a lot the last few weekends. I think I was endanger of becoming a nester, but I've felt like reconnecting with friends I've been drifting from. I feel good.

I'm still moving in with Sean, probably May. We've been discussing parameters of the situation. I know I've written a little about my fears of being tied down in this place, or the fear of finding myself unhappy. I think we've reached an understanding and I don't feel so potentially trapped anymore.

Friday night I went bar hopping with M, which I haven't done in a long time. The next day Sean got off work early and we went to this new place in Chinatown called Ping Pong that does dim sum that we both really enjoyed. Afterwards we went to Town for Lady Gaga night. Today we enjoyed the warm weather and went to Great Falls for a picnic - it's been a very nice weekend. I'm feeling better about a lot of things.

Peaches - Billionaire

I think Peaches is probably the best thing to come out of Toronto...

Drunky, Did You Move to Connecticut?

Green... with Envy: St. Patrick's Day 2010!

Happy St. pAAtrick's Day, everyone!

The Ideas of March

My HOroscope this morning:

You have a great deal of power at your disposal today, Aries. You should keep in mind that just about anything you wish for will come true. Don't waste words or actions. Concentrate your energy and focus it on one or two important things instead of dispersing it and thereby diluting your overall power. There isn't anything to fear on a day like this.

Interesting. I woke up this morning from an epically-long dream, one that was chock full of symbolism (it's as if my subconscious is trying to beat me over the head with a message). I won't go into it here- that's what I keep my dream journal by my bed for - but it's been an interesting start to the week. Maybe it's the rainy weather, but do you ever have mornings where it's hard to shake dreams and differentiate between the real and unreal?

I had a wonderful weekend. Last weekend I wasn't feeling so great and haven't been out in while, so it felt good to get out of the house. Saturday night I had dinner at Cava with Sean, we met some friends at Mova (formerly Halo), and then some others at Town. With the daylight savings jumping ahead one hour thing, it wasn't until very late when we got back.

The next morning I made breakfast (which Sean and I joke has happened maybe 3 times in our entire relationship) and then we went to see Shutter Island at Tysons, which was a perfect film noir movie for a dark and rainy weekend. I definitely recommend it - tell me your theories on the twist ending. I won't post any spoilers here.

By the way, what are people doing for St. pAAtrick's Day this year?

Stories to Tell

March is here, and things are getting a little warmer, which gives hope for spring, though honestly I would not be opposed to a little more snow! Having snows days off work is worth it in itself.

I was thinking at some point tonight that when I move I really will miss DC on some level. I was reflecting on some good times I've had over the years. Even some of the crazy things which, while not fun at the time, I can look back on and laugh a little at. The point is, I've lived to tell the tales.

Sometimes I've thought about writing a novel about my time here. I'd have enough raw material to fill up volumes, all the crazy situations, people etc. But I wouldn't even know where to begin! It's nice having that feeling of communion with the city though - I've been privileged to see some of her secrets, and enjoy some very good times through these formative years of my twenties.

That Little Voice...

While I am very excited about the upcoming move, I have to confess I also have a few moments of panic. It has nothing to do with whether or not I think I could be compatible with Sean or not. It's larger than that, really.

I had sort of a "moment of clarity" today when I realized what I think is the root of some of the issues in our relationship I've had in the past, things that went unnamed because I couldn't wrap my mind around what the root problem was. I really do think, now, that it's about commitment. Or rather, being able to do the things I want in life.

Do you ever have that little voice in your head that says "Run!" ?

I get that sometimes. This is nothing against Sean at all. He really is the most amazing man I've ever found. But, I feel like my "window of opportunity" is drawing to a close - my twenties are almost over. The further you go along the harder it is to change any course. I do not want to be in the same place doing the same things two, five, ten years from now. Wondering where those years went, much as I do now having lived in DC for a decade.

I've learned how easy it is to let years pass under the bridge... putting things off, putting dreams on the shelf. I don't want to do that. And sometimes I think it's even easier to fall into that hypnosis of mundane life when you tie yourself with another person.

Some days I want to run, I want to move far away and start fresh. And I think it's perfectly human to feel that way. I think a lot of us have these feelings in our relationships, even if we bury them somewhere dark and secret.

When you ask me tomorrow I may feel completely different. My blog can be silly sometimes, but I also come here to work out issues (albeit in a rather public forum). But I have to be honest with how I feel, and it helps to get it out on words...

A Moment for Reflection...

A strange selection for a cold winter day, I realize, but I came across this reading about a colleague who quoted this in an article... at any rate, I really was struck by the last two lines.

The Summer Day
Mary Oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Catching Up

Not much major has happened since my past post. Valentine's was nice, the snow is almost melted. I've seen my friends several times (though I've actualyl been more of a homebody than usual lately!)

Sean and I are continuing to plan our moving in with each other. I haven't set a date as of yet, but I imagine it will be soon. Sean has some repairs and remodeling to finish up.

Soon I'll be a Real Housewife of McLean lol

Great Lake Swimmers : Your Rocky Spine

Year of the Tiger

It's Valentine's Day tomorrow, and also Chinese New Year, year of the tiger. Tonight I'm going to dinner with Sean to Mon Ami Gabi - it was where we celebrated our first Valentine's together (and, if I recall, it was snowy then, too). This makes our fourth Valentine's day, now.

Last night was the opening ceremonies of the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. Wish I was there to see it all in person. I did catch the ceremonies on TV last night while I was out. It was beautiful (though a tough act to follow after Beijing's in 2008). I liked the giant polar bear that came out of the floor...

Edward Cullen at My House

I don't know what I love more about this pic - my favorite sparkly vampire from Twilight, or the polar bear rug he's laying on. Actually screw Robert Pattinson, I'll take the rug.

Snowverkill

I wished for some snow this winter, and I certainly did get it! It snowed last weekend, and then there was a massive snowstorm this weekend (17 inches roughly). More snow is expected tomorrow night, to boot!

Sean was snowed in with me the last three days. You know, it was really nice. We cooked for each other, watched movies, played in the snow... it was fun.

So before I go any further, I have to mention the events of last weekend. So after the snow, last Sunday, Sean and I went to Lowes to look at tiles and stuff for renovating his condo. All that flood damage from December has been fixed now, and he has some money left over that he's going to put into making the place nicer. Anyway, he was looking at dishwashers and asking me what I thought. I was like, this one's nice, but it's your place, so you make the decision. Then he basically said it's our place, and he would like me to live with him, and I said yes.

That's pretty much how it happened. I'll never forget the dishwasher section of Lowes. Sigh. There's no real timetable yet on when I'll actually move. We both have loose ends to tie up, we're both very busy. But this weekend snowed in together I think proved we really can live with each other without driving the other crazy, so that's a good thing.

Definition of the Day

Yesterday, Groundhog Day, the groundhog Phil saw his shadow, so maybe six more weeks of winter? There was a lot of snow, but unfortunately the streets are clear (for once) so I have to work today!

At any rate, here's something humorous I came across. Lada Gaga fans will appreciate this:

"Bluffin with my Muffin" - the offering of a baked good to distract your enemies so that you can make a quick escape.

'I was cornered my thieves on a dark, deserted street, and only managed to escape by bluffin' with my muffin (blueberry).'

Back, But Wishing I Weren't

I've been back for a few days. While on some level it's good to be back in one's own home and bed, I gotta be honest, I'd much rather be in a beach in the Yucatan.

Sean and I had a wonderful time. On many levels I think it was our best trip yet. After the turbulence and stress of last year we both needed it. The first four or so days, in fact, were spent just lounging by the beach. There's something delightful about swimming in bath-warm water and sun tanning in the dead of January. Margaritas, coronas, relaxing.

We visited Mayan ruins, which have to be seen to be believed. As with other ancient wonders I've had the privilege of seeing, nothing really compares to that first moment of awe when you stand before something amazing, such as a Mayan pyramid.

We went snorkeling and swimming at a protected reef area that was absolutely beautiful, too. I took pictures with a water-proof camera (I'll have those developed shortly). The water was so blue and transparent it makes our trips to cold, murky Rehoboth just seem depressing. Sean and I got lots of good sun, too.

Now, I suppose, it's time to get "serious" about this year!





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Vamos a Mexico!

The Poison Pen is off for the next eight days to Mexico to enjoy warmer climes and celebrate a new year! Adios!